Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 44

Chapter 44-
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        My heart was pounding out of my chest as we whipped into the hospital parking lot.

He looked over at me as to ask if I wanted him to come in or not, which I definitely did. We raced inside and I rushed up to the front desk.

"Summers," I stuttered out my last name, so anxious that I felt like I was going to faint.

My mind was spinning as she told me the room number and stated that Ashton could not go with me since he wasn't family.

Everything around me was blurring together in one large sea of movement, and it all seemed to be going in slow motion and fast forward at the same time.

My hearing was obstructed by a loud ringing in my head as I hurried throughout the building, looking around at the blurred streaks of colors and room numbers for my mother's room.

And then, suddenly, everything stopped. I found myself staring at the door, scared to enter. My shaking hand reached for the knob and I took a deep breath before pushing it open.

It took me a second to recognize her. She had countless tubes coming out of her, and an oxygen mask secured over her mouth. She was out cold.

I was so in shock that I couldn't move for a few moments, just trying to take it all in. When I eventually walked over to her and sat down in the chair next to her, I reached out and held her hand in mine.

I put my head down, not being able to take the sight for much longer. The tears began streaming out as I thought about the possibility of losing the only family I had left.

Was she a terrible mother a lot of the time? Yes. Was she toxic and unstable? Yes. But she was still my mother. She was suffering with an addiction after her son killed her husband and tried to kill her and her daughter. She had become the product of the really shitty cards she had been dealt.

I knew this wasn't an excuse for her to say some of the things she said, but like I said- in the end of the day she was still my mother. I grew up with her. She was a different woman now, but the same soul. She was the only thing I had left from my whole entire life before it all turned to shit.

If there's anything I've learned, it's that love is messy. It is by no means perfect, or flawless. Real, true love has its ups and downs and twists and turns, but always prevails.

I like to think of it like the moon's connection to the tide. Sometimes the moon pulls the tide too high or too low, but in the end of the day they are unconditionally tied together in a bond so unbreakable that it's practically magic.

As I was having these thoughts, I looked up at the door that I forgot to close and saw Ashton sitting outside waiting for me. He must have snuck his way over here.

And it was in that moment I realized how much I loved him.

My thoughts were interrupted when the doctor came into the room, a sympathetic smile painted on his cleanly shaved face. My heart dropped when I noticed this expression.

"Miss Summers?" He asked, holding a clipboard in his hands. I couldn't do anything but shake my head yes.

I looked up at the doctor with a burning, intense look of longing in my eyes, hoping with everything in me it was good news. I had a feeling though that I wouldn't get it, though. He sat down opposite of me.

"Well, Miss Summers I'm not sure how much they've told you already, so I'll just inform you of everything," he began. I felt myself mentally gulp as I prepared for whatever he was going to say.