To Find Love: Romanogers One-Shots

Not What it Seems

Summary: Steve returns from a mission a little more shaken up than usual and doesn't waste any time seeking out Natasha when he gets back.

Steve could feel himself shaking even though he was standing in the SHIELD elevator on his way up to Natasha's office.  He'd already debriefed Fury on the flight back and that hadn't calmed his nerves in the least.  Fury had had enough of a hint he wasn't fully paying attention during the debrief that he hadn't made him come to his office after arriving.  Instead, Steve was free to seek out Natasha immediately while some other agents worked on checking in their gear and checking their plane back into the hangar.

Before the elevator had even fully opened, Steve was off and hurrying towards the end of the hall where he knew Natasha's office would be.  He'd texted her earlier asking if she was at home or still at SHIELD and she'd told him she was so behind on paperwork, she would probably be in her office for the next two days.  While Steve usually would have argued about that, he was now thankful she was close enough to find within five minutes of landing.  He'd work on making her sleep later.

With his eyes trained on her door far down the hall, Steve tried to clear his mind of anything else and focus solely on getting to Natasha.  It had been just a few days since he'd seen her, but their target had known how much he was missing her despite their relationship being top secret even within SHIELD walls.  Only a select few had found out they were together and none of them were on his team.  Unfortunately, he had the feeling his team now knew about their relationship even if he hadn't said anything upfront.  Nevertheless, there wasn't anything he could do about it now even if he had wanted to set them straight.  He could deal with that later as he finally arrived in front of Natasha's door.

He paused.  His hand was halfway toward the knob, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking the worst.  What if the person they had killed actually was Natasha and she'd been forced to act by a higher force?  Maybe she wasn't safe like he'd thought after all, and had been wearing one of those appearance altering masks under the first one they'd pulled off.

Another set of footsteps further down the hall startled Steve and he quickly opened the door and shuffled inside.  His heavy breathing was the only sound he heard for a second before the sound of pages turning caught his attention and he turned around.

Suddenly he couldn't breathe.  While he could see Natasha sitting at her desk in front of him, he couldn't be certain it was her.  Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.  Maybe it was just a hologram and as soon as he tried to touch her, she'd disappear.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare or come say hello?"  Natasha asked, a smirk tugging at her lips as she looked up from her paperwork.  Steve watched her carefully as she stood up and walked towards him.

She looked like the real Natasha.  He couldn't see any drones or projectors for a hologram, but that didn't mean his mind wasn't just playing tricks on him.  However, he couldn't remember a time where he'd seen her wear that sweatshirt of his.  It was fairly new (he'd got it from Sam after his trip to Mexico) and he was certain she hadn't had the chance to steal it yet.  Not only that, but the way her ripped jeans fit her was definitely something he'd remember seeing before.

"Hey, you okay?"  she asked, her smirk morphing into a look of concern as she stopped in front of him.

Steve held his breath as she reached up to cup his face, releasing all the tension in his body when he felt her solid hand come in contact with his cheek.  She looked even more concerned than before but she didn't have time to say anything before Steve scooped her up in his arms and buried his face in her neck.

"I—"  Steve broke off as his eyes filled with tears and he swallowed thickly.  "It was horrible, Nat,"  he whispered.

She immediately hugged him tighter, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling herself as close to him as possible.

"What was?"  she asked softly, pulling back to look at him.

She gently reached both hands up to cup his face, brushing his tears away with her thumbs only for more to replace them.  Steve closed his eyes tightly and the image of fake Natasha being shot in front of him appeared.  His eyes flew open and he gripped her arms tightly, making sure she was still there.  Natasha gently brushed his long hair from his face, looking up at him in concern as he melted into another puddle of tears.

When Natasha realised he wasn't ready to talk yet, she carefully guided him to the beanbag chair she kept in her office for Clint and made him sit down.  Refusing to let go of her for even a second, Steve pulled her down on top of him and wrapped her in his arms.  Natasha nearly disappeared between the beanbag and him wrapping around her protectively, but she didn't let that stop her from winding one arm around his neck and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

It took a while for Steve to calm down enough to talk and when he did, he tightened his hold on Natasha.  She didn't move from where she was settled on his lap, rubbing his shoulder soothingly as he explained just what had happened on his mission.

"There was this girl,"  he started softly, absentmindedly combing his fingers through her hair.  "She had one of those nanotech masks and looked just like you.  God, Nat,"  he said, choking up as the image of her lying dead in front of him replayed in his mind.  "She talked like you; she even teased me like you do and I froze."

Natasha softly kissed his neck and snuggled closer to him as he tensed up again.

With a slight tremble in his voice, he said,  "Someone else took the shot.  I don't know who, I just watched as you fell backward and agents swarmed forward.  They took off the mask to reveal our target, but it was too real, you know?  I just—I just saw you and couldn't think."

He let out a choked sob and buried his face in Natasha's hair.

"It's okay,"  she whispered, clinging to Steve tightly as he cried.  "I'm right here and I'm alive, see?"

"It was just so real,"  he choked out.

Natasha nodded and rubbed his back as she readjusted how she was sitting.  Steve's grip tightened on her as she moved, but she never left his lap so he didn't try to fight her.

The room was silent for several minutes aside from Steve's soft hiccups.  Natasha pressed her cheek to his as she rubbed his back, hoping at some point he would realise she was real and okay and right in front of him.

After a while, his muffled cries stopped and he pulled back to look at her.  She gave him a small smile, rubbing his cheek with her thumb and brushing away the last stray tears.  Suddenly, he was pulling her forward and kissing her deeply, causing her to let out a small yelp in surprise.  She immediately melted against him, letting Steve control the kiss and sitting back when he finally let her breathe.

"Are you feeling better?"  she asked quietly.  Steve nodded as he dropped his forehead down to meet hers.  "Good,"  she murmured, shifting to press a warm kiss to his cheek.  "Then we can go home and cuddle until the sun comes up and Fury threatens to fire us if we don't return."

Steve gave her a small smile but Natasha counted it as a win.

Gently, Natasha pulled him to his feet, making sure her hand was firmly in his as she gathered what remaining paperwork she had then let him pull her out of the building and down to her car.

The whole ride home was silent and when they finally arrived at his small apartment, Natasha barely had time to set down her folder before Steve was pulling her into the bedroom.  Fortunately, she convinced him to allow her to take off her jeans before settling on the bed and letting Steve curl around her.  He held her close, breathing in the mixed scents of her hair and his sweater.  At risk of seeing her dead body, Steve closed his eyes and was thrilled to discover all he could envision was Natasha laughing in front of him.  Soon, the image was replaced with the one of her dying and he tensed up, but Natasha was quick to rub his arm soothingly and whisper softly into the dark room.

"Nathaniel learned two new words since I last FaceTimed him,"  she said, drawing Steve's attention to the present.  "He asked about you and when you would come to 'vivit'."

Steve smiled at the thought of little Nathaniel Barton talking excitedly over the phone.

Natasha continued on about all the Barton kids then told him about her day and Tony's most recent antics he'd missed out on the past couple of nights.  Before Steve knew it, he was falling asleep to her soft voice with a small smile on his face as he thought about the next time he would be seeing the team.