Girls // 5SOS

25 - never be

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ROSE'S POV

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Ashton looks at me for permission, as I gulped. Nodding in response, he pushes me lightly against the piano making a disturbing sound.

"I've been waiting a really long time to get this far." He murmured, our faces near. "And now I finally have you."

I smiled, his lips meeting mine heavily. My arms wrapped around his neck as my lips parted slightly. 

"Ashton?"

"Yeah." He mumbled, his lips leaving small kisses down my neck to my collar bones.

"You remember that day at battle at the bands?"

"The day we first met?"

"Yup."

"What about it." He whispers, my eyes fluttering closed as he thrusted against me.

"Why did you call us out like that?"

A silence followed, as I leave one more tender kiss against his lips.

"Why?" I asked again, hoping for an answer this time.

 "I don't know."

"Ashton." I frowned, slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be honest with me.

"I don't know." He repeated blandly, as my eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, this.. This is wrong." I laughed half heartedly, shaking my head. "This is so wrong, this isn't me."

"What do you mean? W-we were just having a good time, what do you mean." He spoke desperate for me to just look at him and understand.

Thing is, I didn't. I didn't understand any of this. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"What happens after this?" I asked.

"What happens after what?"

"After the tour." I spoke slowly, only getting myself to make eye contact with him now.

He seemed to think about it for awhile to, as he frowned. "We'll be home, in Sydney. And we'd go hang out, be normal people and actually have time for each other."

"Ashton." I laughed half heartedly, my eyes softening. "We're two different bands, going in different directions. After this.. We're back to being different bands. Survivng in the music industry. It's going to be back to where we started."

"Not if we stop it."

"No, no listen to me." I was being serious. "It.. It just can't be. We have warped tour for the entire summer next year. And you guys, you guys are on your own next year too with your own tour."

"Yeah, but Rose.."

"I.. We can be friends of course we can. It just isn't healthy for any of our bands for us to get into any relationships anytime soon. We don't need any distractions."

"Oh so.. All this, was a distraction to you." Ashton rose his eyebrows, disappointment in his voice. "All we ever did, was waste time.. Ever since the beginning. We were all trying for nothing." 

"No, you.. Ashton that's the thing!" I rose my voice, feeling tears that I didn't want right now. No.. I can't cry. I'm Rose. And Rose never cries..

Well, until now.

"I.. I like you so much, and it's not even fucking healthy. It's not even me, to be honest. I.. I have a band, you have one too. We just can't go on like this."