Are you happy? (GxG)

Let Myself Love You

I shut the curtains and turned to Thalia who was sprawled out on my bed.

"Get up!" I moaned, shoving her aside a little and plonking myself on the bed right beside her. We had to be careful not to be too loud as not to wake my mom. We'd snuck in, not very stealthily might I add, through the front door after walking the twenty minutes back to my house.

"Mel?"

I grunted in response.

"Do you think Mom will be alright?" She slurred turning her head to look at me. I sighed and turned to her so our faces were inches apart.

"Will you be alright?" I didn't know what I was saying, in fact, I didn't even remember forming the strand of words in my brain. That's when a glistening tear rolled down the side of her cheek. She's was crying. I had made her cry. She sniffled then suddenly reached over to pull me into a hug. I wasn't sure what was going on but I could feel the water running down my neck and the heat of her body warming mine. It was an awkward position- her body buried into the side of mine- but it just felt so natural. Then within a couple of minutes, she was gone.

She'd gotten up and crawled onto the makeshift bed she'd made on the floor the day after our kiss, leaving me cold and empty.

"Don't go. Don't leave me, please..." I cried out, sitting up and looking over at her longingly. I longed to hold her, to laugh with her- just be with her a moment longer. "Please..." I croaked. Please don't leave me again. She smiled at me slightly and walked back over solemnly,

"Mel... I..."

"One date." I cut her off, blind to the choices I'm making, "Give me a single chance." Her face fell and she sat down, entwining our hands.

"I want you." I say, "I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else." No one else could ever amount to how much you mean to me.

"We're drunk. Let's talk about it in the morning."

"I like it better this way. Sober Melody is a stiff, stubborn idiot. She'd never have the guts to say these things to you." I squeezed her hand,

She just leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead,
"You're a cute drunk," she said, leaning back down on the bed. She grabbed my hand tugging me, inviting me to lay down next to her. I do. Then, she pulled the duvet out from beneath us and threw it on top of us, entwined our hands once again and rested her head on my chest. I sighed, feeling her warmth radiate through me and falling asleep before remembering to turn off the lights.

***

I wake up to bright light and blink my eyes rapidly to try and dull the soaring headache shooting through my brain. The memories of the night come back to me piece by piece, only then do I notice the body nestled into mine. I ran my fingers down her hair and smiled at her face. She's so cute when she's sleeping. And like every one of our moments together, I never wanted it to end. I wanted her to stay here, with me, all day. And we might've if it wasn't for Mom rapping dramatically on the door.

"Come on girls! You can't spend all Saturday sleeping!" She yelled through the pane of wood I wished was ten times its depth. I sighed as Thalia stirred beside me, smiling at the door,

"So... Since we're both hungover and crazy stupid, how do you feel about doing something crazy stupid today?" I smiled down at her, breaking through the ache in my head.

"Like what?"

"Like..." She stood up by the bed, "Getting on a train."

"To..." I continued,

"To... Anywhere. Let's just get out of here!" She looks elated, almost jumping up and down in excitement. I laughed at that realization and she glared at me,

"I'm serious, let's do it. Let's fly away, you and me." I smiled at her choice of words. As a kid there've been multiple times I just wished I could fly away and forget the world- now seems like the perfect moment. Plus, I'd always just wanted to get on a train and go somewhere, go anywhere. I looked up at her and our gazes aligned,

"Let's do it." She grinned like a mad person and offered me her hand,

"Shall we?" Then the rapping hit the door again,

"Girls?!" A voice from the other side asked and we both start chuckling,

"We're coming Mom!" I said watching Thalia rummage around in my closet for clothes. She pulled out two pairs of almost identical denim jeans and we both started laughing. Maybe because it was partly funny but also because we were so caught up in the moment- so happy and very, very tired.

***

Thalia comes out of the bathroom slowly and I subconsciously trailed my eyes down her body. She was wearing a red and black buttoned flannel shirt and jeans from earlier. She saw me looking and raised her eyebrows,

"You look hot," I said, more pleased with myself for saying it rather than anything else. She bit her lip as color rose into her cheeks and I chuckled at the effect of nothing more than three words. She just shook her head slowly,

"Slow down Melody, you're getting ahead of yourself," She said softly, wrapping her arm around my waist and hovering her lips centimetres above mine. I want to kiss her so bad. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, hell, I don't even know what I was thinking. Everything was so confusing, she was so damn confusing. Emotions are confusing. But when I looked into her eyes, I knew that the emotion that filled my heart was worth the confusion.

Thalia's POV

What was I doing? Why does every word she said make me want to be closer and closer to her? Part of me was aching to press my lips onto hers- craving it- however, the other part was screaming for me to stop. I can't. Everything about her, about this moment, made me fall for her even more. She was the first person in so long that made me feel safe. Safe and... loved. All my life, love had been a distant concept. Like I knew deep down my dad loved me it was just the alcohol that blinded his vision. It's kind of like how love had been for me, clouded and blurry. Yet, when I was with her, the skies cleared and the world came into focus and there was so much I'm missing.

I drew away from her slowly, closing my eyes. I could feel her clasping my hand, begging me not to leave. There was only one thing stopping me from telling her everything I'm feeling- the one thing that haunted my dreams and lurked in my nightmares. Insecurities. You know, that one voice in the back of your head telling you that you aren't worth it, or that people won't care. And after living a life where the voices tell the truth every single time, I didn't know how to stop listening.

I felt a tug on my hand as she pulled my consciousness back onto this earth. I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes.

I wish I could let myself love you...

A/N

This took me ages to write and I don't even know why so there might be very different feels between different parts. I really want to finish this but I know the inspiration really isn't there since I started writing this when I was in a very different place so I may just cut it shorter than originally planned, then go over and edit it. Overall, this chapter is all over the place as trust me, the next will too. Bear with me, I'm still figuring this whole thing out! Anyway, have a great day everyone! Thank you so much for reading!

Edited