Forever | ✓

42. Realisation

Liam

Fuck.

I wanted to shout at her retreating figure, tell her to stop, to not leave. I wanted to run behind her and yet somehow I was unable to move.

As soon as her hand slipped out of mine, I felt my heartbreak for her.

How was I this oblivious to what she felt for me?

All this time she loved me, and I was the complete idiot who just thought she was my good friend. She was there for everything and helped me with Julie.

I was so cruel to her, without even realising it.

Her sad smiles, the storm of emotions I used to see in her eyes, it all makes sense now and I was the cause of it.

I repeatedly broke her heart and just when she was healing, I shattered it once more.

She can't bear to be around me now. But I can't not be around her.

I want to be around her. I want to hold her. I want to see her smile, watching as her eyes crinkled a little when the smile widened. I want to hear her laugh, the way she does so beautifully, that I can't help laugh along with her.

The last weeks without her were so hard, I couldn't take it. It was like a part of me was missing and no matter what I did, I just didn't feel whole.

Ever since the night of the exhibition I've had this feeling like I just wanted to be around Rena. Whenever she smiled in my direction, there was a certain kind of light that would emit from her and it would just brighten up the whole room.

I felt like it was wrong to feel about Rena this way, especially since she was with Will, but I couldn't help it.

I wanted her to be with me.

I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer. I wanted to have more movie nights with Bea and her, snuggling up on the sofa. I wanted to her to smile at me and make everything seem okay. I wanted her to tell to me to breathe when I ramble.

I just wanted her.

Because I'm in love with her.

I never had the chance to tell her.

And right now, I had just let her go.

***

As soon as I entered the front door of my home, I was greeted with the sight of my parents, Rena's parents and Bea. They all looked confused and curious and it was just hard to meet their gaze.

"Liam, honey. Where did you go?" My Mum asked.

"I-I...I just went out," I stammered through my words.

Before I could walk any further and into my room, I felt a tug on the back of my coat, and when I looked back, I saw Bea standing there with a pout on her face.

"Daddy, where's Serena?" She asked, still waiting on her.

I didn't even know what I was meant to tell her. The truth would be that Rena was not here because of me. Because I had been such an idiot for not seeing how amazing she truly was.

"She's not coming." I told Bea, who was patiently standing there and waiting for an answer.

Everyone who was seated, had also gotten up, looking at me with concern.

"You alright, son? You look little pale," my Dad said, eyeing me cautiously.

I most definitely wasn't alright after what Rena had told me.