Save Me From My Own Demise (Phan)

Time Stood Still The Way It Did Before

*Dan's POV*
-4 weeks later-

In the morning, I awoke to find myself in a cold, empty bed. I was looking forward to seeing Phil's face when I woke up. I sighed and got up, trying my best to be as quiet as possible. I slowly creeped down the stairs and got to the last step and stopped. I could hear Phil on the phone with someone. "I can't yet! Just be patient! I'm going to try my best to keep it a secret until I'm sure, ok?" Phil whisper/shouted. I was beginning to become suspicious of what he was talking about, and most importantly WHO he was talking to. I finally went down into the kitchen to find Phil, sitting at the table with breakfast made and served. I laughed at how thoughtful he was. "Good morning." Phil said cheerily. I neared him and quickly kissed him on the cheek, then going and sitting down to eat my breakfast.

I had my laptop in the living room, and so I got up to get it and sat back down. I logged on and went on my YouTube channel to find millions of sweet, supportive comments. But there was an equal amount of, hateful and offensive ones. It hurt me to see the words 'YOU FAGGOTS ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH, YOU SHOULD END YOUR GENETIC LINE NOW AND DOING US A FAVOUR BY DRINKING BLEACH' on my screen, and I was convinced that they were right about me. Phil saw them as well , but he was so used to people making him feel worthless, he just shrugged it off. I however had never experienced any kind of bullying or abuse in my life and it really got to me. For once in my life I felt like I deserved all the hate.

I silently left the room, putting my best fake smile on. I walked up the stairs and went to the bathroom with my camera in my hand. I placed it on the toilet seat and I kneeled down, so that I was in shot. I sighed and pressed record.

"Hello Internet and today, is my final video that will ever be on my channel. Over the past year, I have admitted to my small amount of fans, 100,000 of you to be exact, that I was bisexual and in a relationship with who I could call my best friend, Phil." I began. I picked up a bottle of bleach. "We did a video, asking of you to accept us. We begged and begged and this morning I logged on and found millions upon millions of hate comments. I thank all the people who posted ones accepting us, but I'm afraid that it was not enough. I, Danisnotonfire A.K.A Dan Howell, am saying goodbye to all of you, for the final time." I choked. I looked at the bottle and held it up in full view to my viewers. "No, I'm not leaving YouTube. I'm leaving this earth. I'm going to do the one thing that all of you have asked me, and that's end my genetic line and drink bleach. If my beloved Phil is watching this, just know that I love you with all my heart and that I hope I can one day join you in wherever I end up." I sighed. "Goodbye Internet." I whispered.

I sighed and pressed the button again, ending the video and getting up. I was so shaky and weak from the pure hate I felt inside for myself, that I fell to the floor, having my back firmly placed against the wall. I began to sob and I hoped that Phil wouldn't try and stop me. It wasn't that I didn't love him, it was that I couldn't live in a world where I was not accepted. I couldn't stand it. I was ready for death now, I welcomed the feeling of my life flashing before my eyes and being consumed by darkness, to never wake up from.

I reached my hand forward, grabbing the bleach and opening it. I took a deep breath and I took a big gulp of the yellow liquid. It had no effect on me. I sat there for a while waiting for it to take action, but the only thing that happened was my vision blurred. A stinging sensation went throughout me and as the pain grew worse and worse, I finally blacked out and I had finally fulfilled my wish. I was dead.

(A/N: Don't hate me :( I'm not ending the story, don't question where I'm going with this xD)