Happily Divorced

(42) Ex-wife

Chassie George

"Nathan?" I asked nervously and laid his laptop on the bed.

A hand ran over his hair, livid now. "Chassie, how is it that I'm only hearing about this now?"

My brows knotted together.

Nathan lets out a harsh laugh, his palm pressing to his forehead. "Okay, Chassie George. Full disclosure that I'm trying my best not to be furious about being left out but, for the life of me, I'm having the hardest fucking time."

My mouth parted.

His hand made another sweep to his hair before dropping to his side.  "How is it that I'm the last person to know about the Farewell Party?"

"Nathan, I'm sorry. The party's been short notice."

"That's not my point!" He snapped.

My back turned ramrod straight as his baby blue eyes turned navy with a flurry of mixed up anger. He lets out a breath as heavy as solid rock.

"You're leaving," he stated, the details of his face hardening.

"I am. Howard called me the other day and told me he needed me back."

Nathan's eyes staggered over to the bed next to me as if turning away from what I had to say. His jaw shifted. He remained stationary for an agonizing minute before his head slowly turns back to me.

There was a resigned smile on his face. "I can't make you stay, can I?"

I went very still. A bile formed in my throat. "I have to go back."

He nods like a child. "I understand, Chassie. I always have."

"Nathan, it's not like I haven't done this before." My hands went to the pockets of my jeans to avoid from fidgeting.

His smile waned a little more. "I know. I'm just not sure if I could have the resolve to watch you run again."

"I'm not running," I murmur, groping for anything to lighten the atmosphere. "Besides, it's a good thing I'll be out of your hair completely. I'm going to be out of the way."

He expelled a joyless chuckle. "Here's the thing though: you were never out of my way. I make it a grave business to not leave you be because I'm a dumbass."

I sucked in a breath, speechless.

"You always run, Chassie George. And every damn time you do, I try to keep up because, like a pathetic loser, I'm still not over you. You go running for your dreams – I happily chase after you. You go running away for a new life – I chase after you. You go running for happiness – I chase after you. Sometimes, it feels like you're just running away from me." His eyes swing back to me, this time his smile turned bitter. "When will I learn to just let you go?"

My head spun. "What do you mean?"

"I thought I was just hoping I'll tired of chasing when, really, I was hoping you would go tired of running.

My hands shook from how much my mind was reeling. "Nathan, I'm sorry."

His gaze darkened with something that looks hope, but he shuts it down. "You don't have to be. I doubt if I could ever stop loving you."

"Nathan—"

"Chassie, I just need to get this out of my chest."

My heart contracted.

"I can't keep this bottled up. Not anymore." He shakes his head, more to himself.

I blink, my eyes suspiciously blurry.

"I thought I could. But when you started giving away second chances to those guys, I hoped for my second chance too." His gaze turned distant.

I chewed on my lip. "I didn't want to sabotage the friendship."

"I was never a friend, Chassie." He shakes his head, raking a hand over his hair one more time. "A friend doesn't have to live in constant fear that you might find another man. A friend doesn't have to be in constant struggle not to hold you when you're so close. A friend doesn't have to face the constant inconvenience of having to look away every single time you're around."

I catch a stubborn tear that trickled down my cheek. "What are you saying?"

Nathan closed physical gap between us, his steps tentative and torturously slow. "I'm saying I'll try to let you go without chasing after you this time. I love you ever since I can remember. I could only love you like a man loves a woman. Friendship was never an option."

My heart stumbles in my chest. It was everything I've been dying to hear. It should be something that makes me ecstatic. But it just hurt a lot. Why does it sound more like a resignation than a love declaration?

He lifts a hand to my cheek. The gesture was sweet but the expression on his face was achingly resigned, sending my nerves into an overdrive. Panic surfaces and washed over me.

"But I love you," I choked. It came out as a cracked whisper.

Nathan's forehead rested against mine. He squeezes his eyes shut. They were even more distant when they open back up.

"God, Chassie. Please, don't." He swallows. "Don't say something I want to hear unless you want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"Nathan, please," I sobbed. My eyes spilled desperate tears.

His finger traces my jaw. Then he dips his head low, his lips slowly brushing over mine in a kiss that was heartbreakingly sweet. I leaned to his finger, holding onto his wrist but he gently eases away.

Torment faded the baby blue of his eyes then he murmurs, "Goodbye, Chassie."

Goodbye. Quality over quantity. I've always thought more words, more pain. But that one word inflicted all the pain in the world.

So, color me surprised. And irreversibly devastated.

I watch him go. Helplessly. My knees buckled, so I sat there on the cold floor staring after the door he has disappeared through. Knowing this time, it wasn't just my bedroom he just walked out of.

More tears ran down my cheeks as the realization that he just kissed me goodbye dawned on me.

I wept, my heart in tatters.

Book 2

A bubbly socialite has threatened to spread colors in Cade Parkinson's monochromatic life. The brightest ray of sunshine whose boyfriend just gone MIA. However hard he tried to fend her off, she's just too stubborn as his sweet tooth. He has weakness for sweets. And then inevitably, a weakness for Kathie Jane Lewis. Funny how his own sweet tooth put his heart on the line.