Doctor Who Oneshots

Comfort (10th Doctor)

Hellooooo

So this is more of a tribute I suppose. My best friend died two years ago today and, well, I hella miss him more than anything in the universe. So this is my way of comforting myself. I wish someone would've actually comforted me this way and it's run through my mind a lot. I've wondered how much my life would be different if I would've grieved differently. Anywhooooo let's stop with that 😬 enjoy

Trigger Warning: death, mention of suicidal thoughts but it's very mild I promise.

Also if it says Brandon in here anywhere sorry ignore it.
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

You sat on the steps to the TARDIS in a baggy hoodie and sweatpants. Your (h/l), (h/c) hair was messy and you honestly felt like hell. You wanted to just lay in bed for the next millennia and never get up. You rested your elbows on your knees and laid your head on your forearms, a very uncomfortable position but it concealed your tears.

The Doctor didn't know about your friend, (friend's name) passing away so of course he was a little oblivious. He was running around the console room rambling about nanotechnology.

"Isn't that absolutely mad? It's so- (y/n)? (Y/n) Are you alright?" The Doctor asked, just now realizing something is wrong.

You just shake your head and sit up, hoping it's not too obvious you've been crying. "I just don't feel good, Doctor. I think I'm going to go back to bed..." You stand but he grabs your hand and pulls you back down.

"Talk to me. I know you're feeling fine." He stated.

"If having my heart completely shattered in just a split second means fine, then yeah I'm fine." You stand again and go to your room, shutting the door. You didn't mean to slightly snap, but you just don't think you can do this right now.

You collapse on your bed and just stare emotionless at the ceiling. After a few minutes of thinking, you let the tears flow again and this time you let them go freely. You let out full sobs and you just can't stop. It hurts so so much... Your heart physically hurts!

You pull out your phone and look at pictures of (friend's name) where he's smiling. You let out a particularly loud sob before you can conceal it and you hear footsteps running to your room. You figure it's better to explain now while you can...

"(Y/n)? Can I come in?" The Doctor asked, knocking on your door twice.

"Y-Yeah..." You mumble quietly.

The Doctor walks in and sees you laying on your bed with tear stains down your cheeks and fresh ones ready to fall.

His hearts break at the sight of how sad you are. He walks up to you and lays beside you, pulling you close to him. "What's happening? Anything I can fix?" He asked quietly as he plays with your hair.

"Depends... Would you be okay with causing a paradox?" You know he will say no, but you had to ask first to be sure there's nothing that can be done.

"What happened?" He asked again, softer this time.

"(Friend's name)... He uh... He got into a sledding accident... head-on collision." You whispered, looking down at your fingers. He sighed and pulled you closer to him.

"I'm sorry, (y/n). I hate to say this but... we can't go back and save him. I wish we could but we can't." He whispered, rubbing your back.

More tears came to your eyes and you rested your head on his chest, hearing the soft thumping of his hearts. "I know. I just... forget it, it probably sounds so stupid..." You sigh and try to move away from the Doctor.

"No. Tell me everything you feel. I'll do what I can to help." The Doctor stated.

"Depressed, sad, fearful, angry, upset, torn apart, grief. All of the above." You sigh.

"Explain please. You don't have to explain most since they're obvious, but why fearful and angry?" He asked.

"I'm scared to lose someone else and... well... He was in the hospital for two days. I wanted to ask you if we could visit him but I just... I told myself he would make it. I said I wouldn't have to go see him yet..." You sighed and curled yourself into him. "I kind of thought I'd just bother you by wanting to go see him... and I know you're going to say I wouldn't bother you. But still..."

The Doctor sighs and continues to rub your back and play with your hair. "Death is a very tricky thing isn't it? Sometimes it happens in the blink of an eye without you knowing it's going to happen. Sometimes it takes a while and you get to prep yourself for it, although honestly no one is ever prepared. But y'know something, (y/n)? He wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over this."

"Do not under any circumstances tell me what he would and wouldn't want. You don't know him. And you never will." Your voice broke at the end and you just start crying harder.

"I know, I'm sorry... I'm just saying that if he was your friend, he wouldn't want you to suffer."

You stay silent for a moment.

"I've been friends with him for twelve years, Doctor. Why couldn't it have been me? Why didn't I die in that stupid accident instead? So many people would be happier if it were me instead." You look up at him and see that his eyes are getting a little teary.

"Let me get this straight for you. No one would be better off without you. Well, maybe the Daleks would still be around, but that's different." You let out a slight breathy laugh as he says that. "What I'm saying is that you, (full name), you are brilliant. Even more brilliant than I am, and that says quite a lot. Being brilliant isn't about how smart you are. How tech-savvy you are. It's about how smart you are in here." He puts his hand over your heart. "Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You've saved whole planets, whole galaxies. You made decisions no one should ever have to make in order to save the universe. No one realizes how much you help because you don't brag. I'm the only person who knows, but that's enough. If you make a change in one person's life, that makes them think of you a lot. They'll never want to lose you. But trillions and trillions of lives? That's how many you've changed. And those trillions and trillions of people would miss you so dearly. Me included. Don't ever wish you could take his place."

You sniffle a little and pull the Doctor into a bigger hug. "Thank you..."

"Anytime, love." He kisses your forehead softly before smiling. "Now then... how about we get some comfort food and watch a film? Or we could just talk. It's completely up to you, love."

You smile and kiss his cheek softly. "Ice cream sounds good right now."

"Any flavor, human or alien. You go ahead to the theater room while I get the ice cream." The Doctor stands and so do you.

"Doctor?" You say, making him pause.

He turns to you, "Yes?"

You walk up to him and give him another big hug. "Thank you."