The Stowaway

XXI

"You can't prepare for everything life's going to throw at you. And you can't avoid danger. It's there. The world is a dangerous place, and if you sit around wringing your hands about it, you'll miss out on all the adventure."Jeannette Walls, Half Broke Horses

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XXI.

To see Captain Buckley so propositioned had brought Eliza right back down to reality. He was a man at his very core, and she understood that men behaved in certain ways with certain women. She felt uncomfortable at the sight, and ... well, she felt entirelyjealous.

It was such an ugly emotion, and embarrassment had quickly eclipsed it. All she knew was that she needed to be as far away from any such relations as possible.

She had not at all thought he would come after her, leaving behind that pretty woman and all she had to offer.

To see him standing before her in such a way, in such a state of shock, was entirely startling to Eliza. She had seen him laughing, and after a smile in the same day, she truly felt quite spoiled. She liked that she had been able to make him laugh, even if it was at her own expense.

But his revelation, his confession that it had been two decades since the last time he laughed, reminded her exactly why she had asked him that question at their last port. Was he suffocating?

"Why?" Eliza asked him directly.

She watched in awe as his stern façade faded. He shoulders dropped, his mouth relaxed, and his brows furrowed with an essence of vulnerability. He looked human. He lookedyoung. For the first time in their short acquaintance, he now looked his age.

It was not a joke. It was not a silly novel that she was reading. Captain Buckley was a man who had most definitely suffered greatly. And without a doubt, Eliza cared more deeply for him in this moment than ever before.

"I ..." his voice cracked in hesitation. His dark eyes searched her face, and she willed herself to look as caring and as sympathetic as she felt.

"You can trust me, Captain," she assured him.

But his stern exterior suddenly returned. His brow serious, his shoulders tense, and his eyes narrowed cautiously. "I suppose I have never seen someone make such a fuss as you before," he said defensively. "I found it amusing."

Eliza's heart sank. But she was not angry. He did not mean to hurt her with his words. She could see through them. For the first time, she could read the man. He had let her in, even if only for a minute. Eliza guessed that he had never done that before, not for twenty years.

Her theory was beginning to change. Perhaps it was not a woman, not a broken heart. Whatever happened had occurred twenty years ago, when he was only a boy. What terrible circumstance could he have carried for so long? What could have happened to him as a child?

He would not tell her now, and Eliza willed herself not to push. It was not her place, and the captain was not ready. But she could see that he wanted to tell her. He had revealed even more than he had realised.

He had left that tavern. He had left what that woman was offering him, and he had chosenher. That had to mean that the captain cared for her as well.

***

"You are not to leave this ship, do you understand me, Eliza?" Captain Buckley asked sternly the next morning.

Eliza glared at him in frustration. "I am not a child, you know," she snapped. "I can visit the market without getting lost."

Captain Buckley scoffed. "Remains to be seen," he said tersely. "Look, I have business in Kingston. That is why we are here. I need to speak with the ship's owner and arrange for the sugar shipments. It will take me a few hours, and then I shall return this afternoon and I will take you anywhere you like," he appealed to her.