Hendrix ✓

31 ★ You're my home

𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕄𝕪 𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕖 - 𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕁𝕠𝕖𝕝

"You're my castle, you're my cabin

and my instant pleasure dome

I need you in my house

'Cause you're my home"

Hendrix POV

I spend the next few days reflecting, deeply. I can't stop thinking. All I want to do is think. My brain is a beehive of activity. I can't sleep. I can't comprehend school. I can hardly even pay attention when I go to work. It's like I'm a zombie waiting tables.

It all stems from one thing, Cedric. Of course, when does my life not center around him? He's taken control of everything. Nothing is as important as Cedric.

And then there's the distractions that I've riddled myself with. My friends have made some things better for me, they're always happy to cheer me up, except that it doesn't work for very long. I always go back to daydreaming about my boyfriend. I'm hopeless.

A whole week goes by. He's not in class. He's not answering my texts. I even become desperate enough to ride my bike past his apartment once or twice, slipping on the icy sidewalks and freezing my butt off. Cedric's motorcycle wasn't out front.

I immediately felt guilty immediately after. I've turned into some sort of stalker. He deserves his own personal space to think about what happened. Process his anger, because he has to be out of his mind with hatred right about now.

The only thing is is that I'm drowning in my own guilt, and the sooner I talk to him and beg his forgiveness, the sooner I'll be relieved of the pain and suffering.

My hellish feelings bring me back to that night. He didn't want it, he didn't want to have sex. Well, he did, but he wanted to wait. I'm kicking myself. It was a mistake. I was terrible. He probably hates me.

Miranda keeps reminding me to stay positive, despite her dislike for Cherry and our relationship. She said that it's paranoia egging me on. Cedric doesn't hate me. I've been chanting those four precious words to myself every minute of every day. It's a good reminder to not let myself run away with terrible thoughts that are too painful for me to bear.

Today I woke up early to go to band practice. It's a long two hours of rigorous rudiments and drilling beats into my muscle memory. We have a few gigs here and there, and Dylan is as determined as the rest of us to get it just right. The only thing is that I'm not truly invested. Not anymore. All I can focus on is a scared face with bright ruby colored eyes staring at me with so much love. I want to see that again.

After a frustrated argument about the set list, and a headache later, I'm back at the apartment ready to crash. My eyelids flutter as I scan the pantry with my lazy gaze.

Miranda and Stacey aren't here, and I wonder absently where they've gone. The last time I checked, neither of them have classes at 9:00AM on a Saturday, but who am I to question them? The last two months I've done hardly anything but galavant around with Cedric. Half the time they didn't know where I was. They deserve some payback.

I turn around when I hear the front door open and then close, ready to lose myself in the company of my best friends.

What I'm greeted with instead is Cedric. I haven't seen his handsome face in a week, and I'm catching up now. I've been starved of his company. I stare at him and his confused expression. He stands tall and stiff in my living room, his nostrils flared as he looks at me before shifting his gaze around the apartment with a heavy amount of curiosity.