The Mathematician (Book 1)

12. (M)oral Support

I was right about my period. It arrived as scheduled in tact with my break on birth control and that explained a lot of my mood swings lately.

It was just hormonal. I knew I had been crazy when I had started having those... well, you know what I mean. Plus, Harry was a one of a kind man. It took some getting used to, especially in a world of boys trying to act like men, it was refreshing to actually meet a real one. Any girl with a pussy would get some trepidations from being in such a man's vicinity, am I right?

But the important thing to remember was, it wasn't real. What me and Harry had was just chemistry in the bedroom. And the office... and the pool... and the bathroom—the point was, we lived in different worlds, and being in his for a moment felt nice, but it wasn't going to last. I was here for barely one more month and then I was on to start my own life. I was smart enough to know better than to catch... feelings. 

So thank the Lord it was just my hormones having a very literal bloody trip. 

The whole week after the visit from Professor Havers, I spent mostly to myself again, working my way through my assignment. Assignment number five was a real bitch and the math had stopped being fun a couple of days ago. Now it was just frustrating and annoying. 

But that was all part of it, wasn't it. 

However, for once, it seemed like I wasn't the only one having trouble with my math. 

Every time I had run into another dead-end in my assignment, I had come down to Harry's office to borrow another book to help me understand. Each assignment held a list of books I could read if the material confused me, and until assignment number five, I hadn't actually went through almost the whole reading list. There were ten books written down, each marked on a chapter and a paragraph that addressed the problem. I was on book number nine now and I still had trouble understanding the problem. 

My problems, though, had caused me to have much more frequent trips down to his study to borrow the books, and almost every time, I found Harry standing in front of his blackboard or simply sitting in front of it with a deep frown and a concentrated stare. Once I had even walked in on him erasing a whole line in his answer, only to sit down and stare at the problem all over again. I could tell he had met a kink in his math as well, and it strangely enough gave me hope about my own problem. 

If he, a certified genius, could struggle as much as I did (granted with a much more difficult problem), then I felt better about myself, knowing it was okay to struggle sometimes. It happened to everyone. 

And wasn't that a whole life lesson. 

The more time I spent trying to solve complicated math, I realized just how much mathematical problems could be applied to real life as well. Math taught you more than just math, and I was beginning to suspect that had been Harry's lesson all along. 

The constant control I always saw from him when we were together... it was really discipline, wasn't it. The very thing he had advised me to practice, I realized he had practiced for years himself and it was probably part of what made him the brilliant man that he was today. Math taught you commitment, how to work through frustration, how to overcome procrastination, and most importantly; it taught you confidence. 

Nothing gave you more confidence than feeling smarter than you did yesterday. 

And right there, we had Harry in a nutshell.

Shaking my head before rubbing my face, I sighed as I closed book number nine, after reading the chapter he had suggested in his notes. I had read it more than ten times, but it still didn't make sense. On to book number ten it was, then.