Twenty

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Janette

How can I tell her?

What even will I tell her.

I honestly don't know what to do or what will happen if I tell her that.
She is still a child even though she is smart.

I can still hurt her.

But wait, I always hurt my daughter.

Decisions in life is always a risky one for me. Ever since then.

And now the time has come, I have to tell her the reason why I had to do all of this to her. To my daughter.
But she is astute so this is expected. And it's just that all my life I have known myself for being a coward.

A coward to my problems and a coward to my daughter.
In the end I could not even protect her or tell her the truth but instead, I do many stupid things.
I made her hate me.

And I hate myself for that because of so much time I wasted just to protect her.Was I really protecting my daughter? or I was just hurting her more.

I finally look at her.

Her face is really expecting me to say what is the truth.

I just can't bring myself to lie again and again to my daughter so now is the time for the truth.

"It was chaotic. My life was, so I always thought that if I will have my own family I would really choose to protect them from my dark moments in life."

I glanced at her expression and saw that she is still willing to listen with her determined expression. I'm really glad that my daughter will be a strong woman someday. And that she's not a coward like me.

"Hard life is what I have that a life of a rat can be compared of just because of my mother"

I don't want to cry just because of this but I can't help it. I'm vulnerable whenever my daughter is with me. That is also the reason why I choose to act that I don't care about her, I'm really pathetic.

"Well I know that everybody have hardships in their life though it's all different"

She really can be understanding despite the situation we were in. And I'm proud of her for that, in God too because he gave me such a beautiful gift in my life.

"I am glad that you understand our situation but please tell me when you are not fine so, at least I can help as your mother"

Right, this is the least I can do for her as a mother. I want to fulfill my duty and do it for her. For us.

"Well, I am your daughter after all even if the world is cruel I am going to be strong because I have you in my life Mom"

I can't help myself but to finally tear up and released a sob. Then I reach her small frame and hug her tightly. From now on I won't let anything take my strength away but instead will protect it at all cost.

She hugged me back and buried her face in my chest but I did not miss the chance to see her crying too. I realized that from all what happen, it must have been hard for her to keep a composure that even death can't compress.





"I will do anything to protect you Cassey my little astute thinker "

After she heard that nickname she slightly gigle and just buried her face deeper in my chest. I don't really know how I will act with her but I  guess just being together is enough.













With this new start we will not lose and just fight.




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And this is the end of chapter 20. Sorry for the always always late update LOL. I just drop a picture of lalisa manobangs because this chapter warms my heart.Anyways thank you for reading this and supporting it till now.
And I'm also thankful of the hundred reads that this book get. I realized that this is my longest note so far ≧∇≦ HAHAHAHA again thank you everyone!!

                                             -lislyn

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