Hendrix ✓

32 ★ It's over

𝕀 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 - 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕤

"I know it's over

Still, I cling

I don't know where else I can go"

Hendrix POV

My eyes are permanently swollen to the size of golf balls. I'm positive of it. They're tender and moist. That's what happens when you can't stop crying. I don't really care though, I keep on with the crying, because my insides are a wreck.

Daddy left years and years ago, and I moved on from that for the most part. I learned to cope. I learned to be independent and not only take care of myself, but take care of Momma too. I got good at it. I got stronger, built defenses high and strong to keep myself safe from the pain of abandonment.

As soon as I let those walls lower, it all came crashing down. I'm paying the price for my stupid mistake.

I don't know if I can recover from this.

I'll either come back stronger and more guarded, or I'll live in my bed crying all through the day and night. Either way, I won't be the same after Cedric. I knew as soon as I saw him he would change my life, I just hoped it would be for the better.

As I toss and turn for hours, the sun goes down, and my mind wages war against itself. One minute I'm positive he was a lying jerk who will never show his face here ever again, and on the other hand I'm leaning more towards believing he'll come back.

He said he would come back. He said he loved me.

Should I believe him? His excuse was strange, maybe part of it was true, but he had to be holding something back. Why would he lie if he loves me? Why would he refuse to tell me exactly what's going on? It's just as much my business as his.

Time crawls by slowly. The sun sets outside my window, painting the sky with a brilliant pink and orange sunset that I would usually love to admire. My mood prevents from it.

All of my energy is gone. All of my excitement for life has disappeared.

He's gone. What's the point? I can wish and dream that he'll come back, but I don't know that for sure. Whether he told the truth or not, he's not here right now. Not knowing if I'll see him, or how long it will be until I see him, it's killing me. The uncertainty, the pain, it's thrown me off course.

My shift already started at the diner, and I obviously didn't go, or call in. I can't even conjure up any fear of losing my job.

I fall asleep. I don't know how that happened, I must have cried so much that my body gave up. There were no dreams in my nap. There was only darkness. And it was cold. It is cold, even after I'm awake. Even under all these blankets, the chill goes bone deep.

Maybe I'll just lay here until he comes back.

I hear my bedroom door open, and I flinch. Is he back already? But no, it's just my friends that are there standing over me in the dim lamp light. I don't know why I could ever think it would be Cedric. Miracles are bogus.

Miranda is cupping my face, her long fingers are cold against my flushed skin. Her strawberry blonde hair is pinned back, revealing her tense expression.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." She says, pity dripping from every letter off her tongue.

My bottom lip starts to tremble, and I'm shocked when tears dribble down my cheeks. I thought I was all dried out. Apparently not. The tears persist, fighting on.