A Pocket Full of Posies (Book 3)

Chapter Twenty-Five

I don't know if it comes from a place of strength or weakness, but the facade breaks. I blink, and reality hits me like a bullet to the head. I stare at the cardboard box dumped onto the ground, and I want to cry. I want to fucking cry. I have to clear my throat to stop a choking sound from escaping. What have I done?

"You don't have to kill her. I know that's a lot, for now," Connor pipes up, bringing my attention back to him. "Just hurt her."

Oh, that's okay then. What a goddamn relief. My eyes keep trying to shift downwards to the cardboard box, to stare at what I've done. What the hell have I done?

"Fellix, I don't know..." Annabel starts, but her voice fizzles into nothing.

I turn to Ava. Her body is frozen still, and her dark eyes are shifting around my face. She thinks I'll hurt her. She genuinely believes I'm going to hurt her.

"Just..." Annabel tries again. "Maybe do something small."

Is she kidding? I can't--When Sefu advised to obey Connor under any condition, I highly doubt he had this in mind.

"He did," a distorted voice whispers from somewhere beyond this world.

I take a sharp breath. Not these needy arseholes again. As the banished voice filters through, another few echo in my head. They're all saying the same thing. As Connor asks me to hurt Ava again, I try to build the wall inside my head back up, but it's too late. The voices are seeping through.

"He said to obey, even if it means hurting something or someone."

"Someone," a different voice emphasises.

The voices are a blanket, wrapping themselves around me, warming my skin. I catch myself. No. Sefu wouldn't have meant Ava. He wouldn't have. I flicker my eyes back to my friend, whose sharp features look uncharacteristically soft under the moonlight.

"You don't have to kill her," another banished voice reasons.

I stare at Ava, plead with my eyes for her to understand what's happening, what this is. Maybe I can get her to fake something. If I hurt her, just a little, but don't let it go far, maybe she'll catch on and exaggerate it. I can control it, right? I stopped it moments ago as it was overcoming me. I can control it. I focus my attention back to Ava, and take a breath.

I release a long sigh. I can't. I can't do it.

"No."

Connor's face drops. The smile that had been plastered onto it for the past few minutes disappears, and his shoulders deflate.

"You idiot!" one of the previously calm voices screams in my head.

"What's wrong with you?" another yells.

"Stupid child!"

That's enough from them. I shut my eyes, picture the wall in my head the most vivid I've ever imagined it, and build it back up. Barricade the thing, lock it and throw away the key, set up a goddamn alarm system to protect it. And they're gone.

"Felix, come on," Connor snaps, not bothering to add warmth to his voice. "You're so close!"

"If you think," I begin. "If you genuinely think I would ever even consider laying a finger on another human being, let alone someone I care about, then you're even more deluded than I thought. This was all supposed to be a trap," I say as my eyes flicker to the cardboard box at Connor's feet. "I regret even trying. I never should have. Just know that I would die before even considering helping you. I'm not like you. I'm nothing like you."

Admittedly, I probably should've reduced my honesty tenfold there. Ava's eyes are darting between Connor and me, and as I turn my own attention to Annabel for a second, she swallows. As if on cue, slowly, a cloud of darkness starts to grow around and above Connor. No turning back.