𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈-𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋

𝗙𝗶𝘃𝗲

𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗮

" didn't I tell you not to stay out late " I rolled my eyes at my mothers voice

" coming In the house at fuckin eleven am like that's cute "

" Mary it's not that deep " she looked at me muggin me for a second before yelling again

" it is that fuckin deep what if some thing happened to you when you were out there doing whatever the fuck you were doing "

" stop acting like you actually care " she laughed at what I said before speaking

" you right I don't give a fuck yo ass gone end up dead just like yo fuckin brother or In jail like yo ain't shit ass daddy " I kept the same blank expression on my face

I was use her at this point she'd tell me how Imma end up like my daddy and how she shoulda aborted me . In a couple hour she gonna come I my room give me a half ass apology and expect everything to go back to normal. And every time I would tell her I forgive her

But as time went on and I got older and the words she said stuck with me. Her words bothered me even though I didn't want them to. As time went on I grew animosity towards her what did I do to her for her to treat me like this when she ain't never say that shit to my sister .

" get the fuck out of my face " she pushed past me breaking me out of my train of thoughts

I walked into my room opening the pharmacy bag taking the anti-depressant out . I held the pill in my hand for a second before throwing it in my mouth picking up a bottle of water of my dresser pouring some in my mouth swallowing the pill .

I sighed sitting on my bed letting the feeling of numbness fill my body. Even though my body felt numb it was like my mind was at war fighting itself. I had no reason to cry I was use to it but yet still I wanted to do nothing more than cry my eyes out

I laid flat on back staring at the ceiling feeling the tear well up in my eyes

" pill don't even fuckin work " I said wiping the tears as more fell

The tears just kept coming as all her word clouded my mind no matter how hard I tried to think of something else all I could see all I could hear all there was was her word . I sat up grabbing the bottle taking another pill dry letting the tears fall from my eyes as I laid against my pillow crying silently

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I turned in my sleep feeling someone tap me

" tasia " I looked up at my mother standing at the end of my bed

" I'm sorry work has been stressing me out lately I shouldn't have took it out on you "

" it's okay mom " she smiled coming over and hugging me

She walked out of my room and I just sat there staring at the wall

" why do you hate me " I asked looking up at the sky

I laughed bitterly laying back down trying to go back to sleep

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I woke up and looked at the time on my phone 6:17 am . I had to get up for school in 12 minutes might as well get up now I sighed

I got up walking into my bathroom taking a shower and brushing my teeth before fixing my hair and getting dressed

I walked into the living room contemplating whether or not I wanted to eat breakfast

" nah " I walked out side and sat in my car for a minute before driving off

I looked at my phone as I stopped at the light by my school 7:12

I pulled into the plaza in front desk f my school and parked cause who paying seventy dollars for a parking spot . Not I

I decided to go into the corner store and grab some shit for lunch cause I'm not eatin that nasty ass school food

" wassup " I said to the clerk jj

I grabbed a bag of sour patch and a Kit Kat before grabbing a bag of salt & vinegar chips then I started looking for a Fanta

I heard the door open but I was to busy staring In the fridge trying to find the pineapple Fanta

I smiled as I finally found it that shit was hidden all the way at the bottom. I walked back up to the front of the store before stopping seeing sincere and his friend from the other night

" sin " I said

He turned around and hugged me

" of course yo fat ass would be here " I just flipped him off trying not to drop my Kit Kat

His friend turn around and looked at me before taking everything out my hand putting it on the counter

" put that on it to "  he told jj

" thank you " I spoke quietly

" no problem " he grabbed his bag walking out side

I grabbed my bag and walked outside with my bag son right behind me

" I'll see you in third period " I said as we walked into school

" ight " he nodded

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