Home Is With You(bxb)✔️

Chapter 8

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Jacob's p.o.v

I've been in this room for two whole days without seeing the sun or smelling fresh air. I didn't bother opening my windows or my curtains. The state I was in didn't let me.

I was emotionless and subdued

At times like this I find comfort under my bed. I hate darkness so I lay under the bed with the lights on thinking about how life would be if I was a bit more free.

The only thing that kept me going this whole weekend is my excitement for joining a squad today. I can't wait to show them how brave I am for getting my hands on Deshaun's number.

I crawl from under the bed and sit on the floor with my legs crossed. Even though I find comfort there I can't deny the pain on my back caused by the hard floor.

My stomach growls for the thousand time

My father meant it when he said I wouldn't eat until I've grown up. Miss Alica would always sneak me food in such situations but I guess my father didn't give her a chance this time. I just hope that he hasn't done anything to make her leave.

I let my finger trail on the marks I drew on my wrist to stop my crying. A drawing no one else is meant to see. It describes my pain and my biggest fears.

I am aware of the fact that I shouldn't be doing this to myself but it's addicting and I couln't stop even if I wanted to. This is the only way I can grow up like my father wants me to. The tears stop every time I do it and when I don't I feel miserable.

I get up with a lot of effort and walk towards the bathroom. I avoid the mirror as much as I can because my reflection scares me. It tells me stuff I rather not hear.

It puts my flaws on display and brings the truth in my eyes to light

I brush my teeth and get in the shower after taking off the clothes I had on last Friday. I didn't feel the need to change them either.

I walk gloomy to my closet after the shower. I scan all my clothes one by one and the rules pop in my head. Rule number three of Abigail's squad is always worship fashion so I'll try something different today. Instead of my usual black and baggy clothes, I'll wear my favorite color.

I wear a baby blue high collar sweater that ends right on my belly button where my jeans will start. Then I wear my light gray jeans that I used to hate because of its tightness. It has cuts on my knees. I complete the outfit with my white converse.

I put the left side of my hair behind my ear.

Knock, knock, knock

I freeze in place with my breath caught in my throat. My heart is pounding in my chest.

Is he here to take me to the dark room?

Gruesome thoughts flash through my mind. My nails find their way to my wrist when I feel tears clouding my eyes.

Knock, knock, knock

"Jakey? It's just me, your father left" I hear miss Alica say behind the door and I take a deep breath. I really thought it was him. I roll my sleeve down to hide my pain.

I walk towards the door and unlock it. I open it and an exhausted miss Alica comes into view. I pull her into a hug and she returns it.

"I'm okay, don't worry" she says with a smile.

"Are you?" She asks examining my face and I nod rapidly.

"You look pale. Come, you need to eat" she says pulling me by my hand and I shake my head.