Everything I Lost | Jensoo

Chapter 45

JENNIE

I sat next to the window looking outside. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't turn off my mind that was thinking way too much. We made a step forward. We knew that it was my fault at the end. I was the one who put my favorite persons to this situation. I wiped my tears before they fall. I held my sob for not waking them up.

I looked back to our bed and Jisoo had Ella in her arms. They looked so calm. Like everything was like before. Like we were on a trip. Just the three of us.. Tomorrow morning Ella would leave with Seunghyun. I would miss my baby girl but that was the right thing to do. I wanted her to be away from all this. She's already been in a life full of drama.

I left the cold window and I walked back to my princesses. I lied back down. Ella was sleeping in the middle of us. I held both of them in my arms. Having them close to me I always felt safe. Before I close my eyes I felt Jisoo's hand on mine. I looked at her and her eyes we closed. She didn't say anything. She just held my hand that was on top of Ella's little body. Like we were both protecting her from the outside world. With that feeling I managed to close my eyes and sleep.

Next morning we woke up at 8am. Ella's flight was at 2pm. She was exited that she would go to New York with Seunghyun, although she was sad that she was leaving back her mommies. We told her that we would come too but we needed to stay back for a while. How long it was going to be? And what would happen at the end, no one knew.

"Baby, could you please bring Ella's book? It's next to the nightstand." She couldn't sleep if we didn't read to her. With her teddy bear in her arms and us reading to her she was sleeping every night.

"Here it is.."

"Ella, baby girl, lets go. Grandpa is waiting for us downstairs to go for breakfast."

"Okay momma. I am coming."

I was standing there, looking both my girls moving around the room. I was looking at them in fast forward. Only that I was standing still and I was looking at them moving.

"Jen.. Baby? Jennie..."

"Yes, I am here." was I?

"Are you coming?"

"Yes, I am sorry. Let's go."

Seunghyun was waiting for us downstairs. He greeted all of us with a hug and a kiss. He gave Ella two kisses though. I could see how he was with the little girl.

"How are you girls? I talked with Taeyang yesterday and he told me everything."

"At least we know now dad. Before, we were clueless. Now we know.." Jisoo said looking at me and holding my hand underneath the table.

"Jennie, how are you?"

"Good? I guess.."

"Are you?"

"I don't know Seunghyun. I wish I could really tell you."

"Baby?" Jisoo looked at me for one more time, holding my hand tighter this time like telling me she was here with me. I knew I had her. That's why I was staying strong.

"So.. princess.. Are you exited you are going to New York with grandpa?"

"I am mommy. I am sad though. When are you going to come?"

"We discussed it sweetie. As soon as everything is set up here and momma and I have everything planned we are coming there as well.."

"But when?"

"I don't know. I just don't know. Okay?" My voice was higher than usual and it was actually the first time I was raising my voice especially to Ella. When I saw her lowering her eyes and being ready to cry I cursed myself for being like that.. And Jisoo wasn't happy either.