Roots Before Branches

Once in a Blue Moon

I can't make eye contact with strangers on the street some days,
I hate that I always get stuck in my ways.
I stare at the ground until all of my sanity is found,
And for that, I am not proud.
I wish I didn't find such respite in silence,
But I do, I adore the quiet.
That, I've known, could one day prove problematic for me,
I could, simply, forget how to be.

I fall in love with you once in a blue moon,
I open up to you once in a blue moon.
Sixty years would be too soon,
I like drowning in my deepest solitude.
I let you in once in a blue moon,
I allow myself to be vulnerable once in a blue moon,
It's always my sole voice in the room,
Loneliness finds the lonely in such gloom.

I'm not saying I'm down on my luck,
And I'm not telling you I'm stuck in a rut.
I'm just letting you know that vulnerability is one of life's most complex entities.
In order to be vulnerable, you must be completely honest with yourself,
And, to be honest, I don't think I'm there yet.
I can tell everyone that I write what I feel,
But, deep down, I know this shit isn't real.
I know that I have problems that have been swept under the rug,
I know that I can't always be so madly in love.
What I'm trying to say is, I think, that self-confidence and self-acceptance only come once in a blue moon,
And, when it does, I promise I'll put them to good use.