maya || timothée chalamet

23

***
just stop your crying,

its the sign of the times

we gotta get away from here
***

Maya walks over to the sink and places her dishes inside. For the first time in a long time, Maya has the apartment all to herself.

Normally Alex was crashing on her couch or she had her parents over against her will. Although she won't admit it, it is dangerous for her, being alone has brought nothing good.

Maya turns off the sink and With everything going on, Alex fears that Maya will take the blame for it. Despite nothing being her fault. Alex was the best friend Maya could ever possibly ask for and the fear of messing that up has become too much.

Maya continues to wash her dishes in silence. She's not sure when her mind drifts. But once it does, she finds herself thinking about Timothée.

Is it really worth it, going to Italy?

Money is definitely a big factor in her decision making. Maya wants to blame that on the sole reason for not wanting to go but Maya herself knows that is not the case.

Maya wonders if it's her fear of abandonment or caring about him. Sure Maya cares about him, as a friend of course. But she's not ready to love someone.

Once Mayas have done cleaning up the kitchen, she heads back towards her room and lays down onto the bed. Her back lays flat while she stares at the ceiling. With nothing but the suffocating silence.

Maya's mind is flooding with thoughts. She must be overthinking this situation, Maya tries to ignore her thoughts but she cants but ask. What would her sister want her to do?

Perhaps a year ago, Maya could have easily answered that. But now, it seems impossible, as if she never knew Athena.

Maybe it was better this way. Athena becoming forgotten memories would perhaps take away the pain.

A dead girl can't get mad at her sister, could she?

Maya chokes back a sob. Pathetic is the word she would use to describe herself if she needs to.

What would Timothée think if he was to see her right now, the thought of receiving pitty is much worse then him abandoning her.

Maya's bottom lip begins to quiver as she tries to control her cries. But she fails, Maya's not sure why shes crying anymore.

But she can't stop, each gasp for air makes her shake even more.

She looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath before exhaling.

Getting to see Timothée has turned into an escape for Maya. That may not be a healthy way to cope with her problems by burying them. But Maya reassures herself that she will deal with everything another day.

Spending time with Timothée in Italy sounds amazing right now so that is exactly what Maya plans on doing.

Maya rolls over onto her stomach and yells into her pillow.

***

alex🧡:
sorry, I was busy :(

maya 💘:
don't worry, im fine.
I miss you.

alex🧡:
im with you in spirit.
let me know if you
need anything?

maya💘:
don't worry about
me. hows your trip?

alex🧡:
pretty good.

maya💘:
i'm so glad that you're
finally getting a break.

alex 🧡:
you make it seem like
being woth you
is painful for me.

i love you, you're
my family.

maya💘:
i don't deserve you, i
think i'm going to go with
timothée to italy.

i think it would be good

alex🧡:
well, would you
look at that, im proud
of you for making
this decision.

maya💘:
i'm just scared of messing it up. 

alex🧡:
you would never do
anything intentionally.
i trust you and,
you have timothée.

how about this, we watch
some movies and have a sleepover.