unspeakable mate | boyxboy

Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Running away

the italic sentences are his conscience.

Jonna

I ran, I ran. I always run. It's just easier to get away by running. I knew I was gonna be found but, I was already lost. 6 months ago I was lost, and I still may never be found.

I hide in one of the guest room closets and let the emotions poor out as I crawl in the corner. God, I hate feelings. They just fuck everything up for you.

No Jonna you fuck stuff up for yourself!

About 5 minutes later the sound of the door opening, has me tensing up but, I don't look up. There's no point. Someone lifts me up and I know it's Cameron, he's the only person who I let touch me without flipping beside my sister. I don't want to feel this feeling though. It had a horrible outcome every time. I just... it's cramming in my chest and it makes my blood pump faster and heart race. Love. I know that's how I feel toward him, and that's the problem. I don't know why I feel this way.

He carries me to his room and locks the door behind us. He lays me down on the soft warm bed covered in a black duvet. He pulls me into his arms laying down also, facing me. I know its coming."Why?" He asks. "Why would you do this to such a beautiful body?" he continues. Didn't expect that. I look down ashamed, disgusted with myself.

You should be disgusted! You are disgusting. That's why nobody loves you!

I'm gross and don't deserves to be loved or cared about. Cam lifts my chin and pulls me impossibly closer. They're soft. Plump. Against mine. Pink. Moist and I'm already addicted. His lips. At first I'm confused and in shock but I quickly recover when I tinge from his touch. I kiss back eagerly. I pull his toned chest against my chest. We kiss passionately, lips moving in sync. Breathlessly. Butterflies filling my stomach. Fireworks, tingles, and literal sparks but I was too caught in the moment to acknowledge them.

After awhile, I pull back panting to catch my breath. I lay my forehead against his and smile a genuine, soft smile. "Woah" he speaks up. He lifts my chin up more and we lock eyes. Getting lost in the red, vibrant pools staring back at me- I almost miss him speaking again. "Did you feel that too?" he asks smiling, I give a shy nod and blush scarlet.

*Warning: Slight fluff ;)*

I grab his jaw with both hands and kiss him hard, climbing on his lap straddling his waist. He grabs my waist tightly, digging his nails in slightly and pulls me against him. I moan at the tingling sensation, lips still moving against his. He lays farther back on the pillows. I hear the door nob being jiggled, then the door clicking open but I don't care and bask in the feeling of his hot, minty breath against my lips. I press my growing erection hard against his crotch. I grind against him, hard, creating friction between us. He moans, a deep sexy moan.

"Hello!" someone shouts making me squeal and jump off the bed landing straight on my ass. "Shit, are you okay?" Cam asks. I stand and nod my head, dusting off imaginary dirt on my butt. I look toward the doorway and everyone is looking between me and Cam smirking. I blush and scurry off to the bathroom. After I do my business and wash my hands-don't even ask about why Cameron has lilac soap in his bathroom-I look in the mirror and take in my breathless, flustered state.

Stained red cheeks from blushing, and bright pink lips, that are swollen. I walk out and everyone looks at me expectantly. I raise an eyebrow and walk to Cam's closet putting on his gold and black Y&R hoodie. I walk out the closet and sit on the edge of the bed crisscross apple sauce. "What did we just walk in on?" Joanna asks with a smirk and a mischievous glint in her eyes. I shrug, brushing off her question.

"Oh I think you do know. Your lips are so swollen they look like a bunch of pink-dyed cotton balls glued to your mouth." I roll my eyes, taking my phone out my pocket typing 'shut up'. Joanna raises her hands in a mock defense stance. The room is filled with an awkward silence for awhile till Jamie speaks up. "Jonna why did you look like a skeleton with a thin layer of skin and razor gashes everywhere, back there?" I type 'what are you talking about, I'm fat.' I show them.

"Dude you look like you haven't eaten in months" Noah exclaims. I shrug looking down in embarrassment. "Sorry guys, we got to go but, we'll see you at school. Mom and dad just texted." Joanna says. We say our goodbyes and go to walk out but, Cameron grabs my arm."Umm, Jonna do you wanna go on a date with me?" he asks slowly and nervously, looking over my face trying to gauge my reaction. I shake my head no and his smile fades. "Sorry" I mouth to him and jog away to my car with Joanna in tow. We get in the car and I pull off. "Why did you say no? I thought you liked him a lot, well at least that's what I saw" Joanna states cautiously.

He would've just ditched you on the date anyway, and your pathetic heart would be broken again!

"I don't want to get hurt again its too much." I mouth to her as I pull up to our house. The rest of my weekend is spent over thinking every little aspect of the situation. I made the right choice...right?

*monday morning at school*

I've been purposely avoiding everyone for as long as I could. I haven't been out my room till this morning isolating myself from the world. Good thing I have my own bathroom. Cameron has been calling and texting me repeatedly but, I turned my phone off. Joanna keeps asking me billions of questions but I shrug her off every time. We are currently in second period. English. It's so boring! All we've been doing is copying down notes.

My head started hurting really bad. I don't have a headache though! Fuck, a panic attack not here please! My breathes become shallower and my lungs start to burn. "Jonna, you okay?" Vincent-the kid who sits next to me- asks. I pushed out my seat and placed my self in a sitting position on the floor and rub my temples. I try to relax myself but its not working. I started screeching and crying. Everyone was staring at me now. I started pulling at my hair and rocking myself back and forth.

Now the teacher was trying to calm me down. Joanna was holding my shoulder and telling me to calm down, and relax but I couldn't. I grab Joanna's wrist and dug my nails in it, causing Joanna to scream my name and snatch her wrist away yelping in pain. I stopped screaming and crying because there were black spots starting to cloud my vision. I rocked my self back and forth and looked up. I saw a blurred face, but the spots were getting in the way so I couldn't see who. Then everything went black, like someone turned off the lights but, the last thing I heard was my name being yelled.

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