in between all things

Chapter Forty-Two

Some time during the night, Jamie and I had swapped numbers.

Some time during the night, his friends (that I had failed to learn the names of) had disappeared.

And some time during the night I had started to miss Jace.

Why did everything have to start and end with Jace?

"Are you alright Ash?" Jamie asked as we sat on a grassy hill, that looked out towards the river.

The fireworks were about to start and we've been told to expect a fire show like the 'Australia Day' one.

Jace and Drew use to love the 'Australia Day' fireworks. They would always run ahead of mum and dad when they took us. One time they were so far ahead that mum thought that she'd lost them both.

I smiled to myself, and then suddenly remembered Jamie's question. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Jamie smiled. And it wasn't a small, content smile. It was a smile that took up his whole face, one that brightened his green eyes. "That's good."

I nodded. "So what grade are you in?" I asked, hoping that he wasn't too young.

"12th. Can't wait to go to University."

"Oh okay. Yeah, Uni is good," I said.

"I go to school on the Southside and it's so bad."

"Oh! I use to go there. With my brother." I noticed how my mood dropped as I said, 'my brother'.

"Is he the one on the wall? He looks like you." Jamie asked, tilting his head to the side.

After Drew's death the school had put a memorial picture thingy up in every classroom of the school. And while I appreciated it, I kinda think that Drew wouldn't have wanted that. Not really.

I nodded at Jamie, just as my phone started to ring. I fished it out of my pocket and noticed that it was my mum calling.

"Mum?"

"Oh Ashy, it's your father," Mum said. You could tell she was upset and had been crying.

I had to hold back my groan. "What did he do?"

"Ashy, he's in hospital. He's had a heart attack."

I felt my jaw drop. Not dad. As much as I hated him, he couldn't die. He just couldn't. Not after Drew.

"Northside hospital?"

"Yes." Mum confirmed.

"I'll be there soon. I love you mama."

"Love you too Asher."

Mum hung up and I turned to Jamie, who was looking at me patiently. He didn't even look like he was going to question me.

I think I liked this guy.

"My dad's had a heart attack. I have to go. Text me." I said, quickly standing up.

Jamie nodded. "I would say I'm sorry. But in my experience it doesn't really help."

"You're right Jamie." I smiled at him. "I'll catch you."

"Not if I catch you first." He shot back.

I laughed.

And despite the circumstances, my laugh felt genuine for once.

~~~

*Jace's point of view*

"Mother, Father."

I shot my parents a rude grin. They hated me. And I hated them. But I had nowhere to go anymore.

"Jace what are you doing here?" My mum asked.

"Well. I'm waiting for you to let me in the house."

"Aren't you living with Ash?"

"Just fucken let me in will you?" I yelled at them. Right now I was coming off my high and was very irritable.

"Keep it down Jace." Dad said, letting me in. I was surprised that he wasn't yelling at me. "You're exactly like Damo."

I chose to ignore that remark.

"

You keep it down." I mumbled, making my ways upstairs. I didn't even look back.

Ash kicked me out.

Lexi kicked me out.

At least my parents won't kick me out.

Why is my life so fucked right now? It's all my fault. I want Ash back. Fuck, I wanted Drew back too.

I want my bloody best friend back.

I reached my old bedroom and slammed the door. I collapsed onto the bed and fought back my tears as I searched my backpack for my cigarettes. Once I found them, I lit one and smoked it for a while.

After I'd finished the smoke, I lit another and left my bedroom. I walked into the next room, where a window was open and climbed out of it. I made my way done the street towards the cemetery in silence.

Yeah it's creepy to go at night, but I wasn't scared. And I wanted to talk to Drew, even though he wouldn't speak back to me.

Once I reached the cemetery, I jumped the small fence and made my way towards Drew's tomb stone. I knew my way there off by heart, even in the dark.

I finished my second smoke and chucked it away as I sat down in front of Drew's resting place. I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"I fucked up Drew."

What Drew would say: "You always fuck up."

"

No seriously, Ash broke up with me." I spoke out loud to the voices in my head.

What Drew would say: "Well fix it. You love each other."

"Sometimes love isn't enough though."