Chapter Forty-Six

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"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"I know, I'm sorry Ash." Macie said sadly, reaching out to hold my arm affectionately. I still didn't completely trust Macie, but I guess I understand why she pulled away from me and Jace after Drew's death.

We we're all fucked up in our own ways after Drew passed.

I'm glad she's attempting to fix shit now and accepting the shit she did wrong. That's what a good person does, and Macie is a good person.

"Why didn't you text me? I would have liked to hear from you more than Jace." I said, putting my hand our her own.

I glanced around the cafe we were sitting at. She had gotten back to me at 6:30 am and now we were having a breakfast date. Pancakes, lattes and all.

She looked down at her lap. "I didn't know if you'd answer me." I smiled softly.

Macie lifted her head up and smiled back at me. She pushed a piece of her red hair behind her ear and wrapped her hand hands around her coffee. "How's things with you and Jace going?"

"Shit." I huffed.

"You guys were so in love. He's still in love with you." Macie rolled her eyes and got her phone out. She showed me obviously drunk messages from Jace. "He's annoying."

"Of course. You're quite popular."

Macie shrugged. "Jace at 3 a.m isn't necessarily a good Jace, but he's vulnerable, honest and real."

"I know what you mean." I instantly thought back to a conversation Jace and I had at early morning/ late night after a fight with my mum.

"So what happened?"

I sighed and looked from the ground and up at Jace. He was looking forward and swinging a vodka bottle in his right hand. After he'd met me at my window, Jace had suggested we just go to the park and drink our problems away. And I was more than happy with that.

"What makes you think something happened?"

Jace stopped in the middle of the road, and looked me in the eye. "Drew usually calls me up out of the blue to drink and go clubbing. Not you. So something must have happened."

I smiled a little at Jace's words. You could see how he was trying. How he was struggling to keep his walls up, and continue being the rebellious, carefree Jace I know. It made me bitterly happy.

Jace and I walked to the park and sat down on the twin slides and I explained everything that had happened. Jace sat and listened not bothering to interrupt me, which I loved.

"She wouldn't do that, Ash. Your mum loves you too much than to ship you off to that bastard." Jace said, taking a chug of the vodka and wincing at the strong taste. I grabbed the bottle out of his hands and gave him an easy smile.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Just wait till she finds out I'm a fag." I said with a humourless laugh. Jace shot me a concerned look but that was quickly over shadowed by his drunkenness.

"You're not a fag."

"I like you. You like me. Like it or not; we're considered fags Jace." I stated laying down on the side.

Jace copied me and reached his figures out to brush my cheek. He smiled and leant forward to kiss me. I quickly moaned as he deepened the kiss. I really like this boy; more than I could have ever liked Louis.

"It'll be okay." Jace reassured me, pulling away. I reached out to grab his hand and with my other hand, passes him the almost empty vodka bottle.

"Okay."

"Okay." Jace said.

I miss this boy so fucken much. I miss when he was just Jace and I was just Ash and we didn't have all these shitty things going on. We were just two immature boys in love.

"Not as much as Jace loved Drew. I think he loved Drew more than me or himself." I said matter-a-factly.

Macie opened her mouth and then closed it again. She thought and then opened it again. "Drew was everyone's support system Ash. I know he's being a shitty guy right now, but he's broken and once you're broken you can't help hurting people."

"I know that Macie, but he doesn't get it. I still manage to be good to people but he can't seem to do so. It's not fair."

"Nothing fair in love and war, babe."

I bit my lip and sighed. "I guess you're right ya old girl."

Macie and I laughed together. And we sounded happy, like real happy not fake, we're just being polite happy but proper happy.  For the rest of the morning Macie and I spent the hours talking and reminiscing about old times. I really could see us being friends again.

Well, I hope so.

*Jace's point of view*

"I'm so proud of you Jace."

"Thanks mum." I mumbled, as my parents and I walked through the doors of the rehabilitation facility.

I had to come to my parents for this because I was broke, but after a long confronting talk with Damo I realised that I needed to do this to even get a chance with Ash again.

"Sit down Jace while we sign you in." My dad instructed me. So I sat down and pulled out my phone to text Macie to tell Ash where I was. I didn't think I could do it by myself.

TO MACIE: Hey, I'm going in that program. Tell Ash x

I sighed and put my phone away. My dad finished up a few minutes later and a nurse came and showed me to my room.

Here's to change.

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