Her unwanted love ✅

Chapter 26

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Allah, the Lord of honour and glory, will accept the repentance of His servant till his death-rattle begins."
(Al-Tirmidhi)

Zeba pov :
Its already been a month that Idris left I never thought to have this lonely feeling again. I really miss Ris we talk everyday its like we take time for each other in busy schedule. I'm happy for him but have that nagging feeling my insecurities coming back but I decided to trust him and leave past emotions but still it hang on me. My past is not some heartbreak from lover but it is untrustworthy father. I remember every moment with him when I'm alone that is reason I became workaholic I never wanted to think about him. The man who was meant to be my protector and saviour was person who gave wounds that will remain forever. I forgived him for leaving us even for his lies but its not possible to forget that memories where my mom was dying and he never cared for it. He used to lie so nicely that I always believed what he said until one day his evil face came infront of me. He loved money so much that he never once turned back to look for us when he got it. He never loved my mom but lived with her because she was dadu's choice when I was born he gave all importance to me but when he meet his best match he got married and fought with dadu and left house. He has his own business from money of his second wife. He still stayed with us. He always used to give me chocolate after coming from office and me being innocent kid used to think my dad is best. When he scolds mom I would get upset so he talks to me sweetly and blame everything on mom. I stop eating chocolate when he left it was my 15 birthday I expected him to be with me so I secretly called him but what he said made me realise that I was such big fool to believe him. He received call thinking its mom and bashed words saying he have divorced her and is happily married to someone so now she should not disturb him.

I got biggest lesson of my life that day not to trust people blindly not to love them so much that they think its your weakness and crumble you down. After day I never asked mom about him I remained silent not showing her that I can see her pain. She got lungs disease as she worked for chemical factory to manage expenses. She used to work when I was at school so I don't know but her every secret was visible to me after dad's call. I used give tuition in school and money I get I will keep it in mom's wallet so she don't know. When she was sick she asked me to forgive dad I was suprised but did that only because I don't wanna hold grudge. She even asked me to stay with dad. I can hold myself from asking how can you still trust a man who broke it she said that love and circumstances can make you insensible to such things. I never wanted to become insensitive so I never stayed with dad. I was not stupid to trust him when I knew what he was capable off. I didn't even stayed with dadu & nana because i was only responsibility for them that can turn to burden so I studied with scholarship and stayed at hostel. After graduation I left for NEWYORK their i did master and establish my business. I never wanted to comeback but for dadu's health I came. Marrying Idris was not my choice but it was plan by ALLAH and I trust him and love him more then my life.

It being 6 months already me staying alone but I'm busy with work and dadu. He is in hospital from 15 days. I visit him daily and stay their at night. Its been a month that Idris talked to me I can understand he is busy even I don't have time to call him. I always pray for dadu and him they are two important person in my life.

Dadu's health is not getting better today he asked for me it made me worried why would he ask about me when he know I come every night their. The unpleasant sensation in my heart made me anxious. I know I should cry but I got numb from feelings from grieve.  Today my dadu's soul left this duniya. He left giving me a promise to keep his secret save the secret which was with mom at her death.

Its been 40 days to dadu's death I just stayed one night at hassan mansion its every part gave his warmth. I cried to my lord for giving dadu's soul peace.

I came place I called home. I came today early from work because I was feeling sick. I walked to room when I heard Idris voice. I know i was hallucinating because of hunger and sleep. I moved to hear my name again. I shut my eyes and moved forward to be dragged back by my hand. I looked person and my eyes turned moist. I wanted to scold him but remain silent. He wiped my tears and pulled me closer. I was leaning on him. I just stare at him with my hand on his chest.

"Smarty stop crying dadu will never like it" he said but my tears where running involuntarily  he hugged me I know he was expecting me to hug him back but I can't. I don't wanna do that.

"Zeba I'm sorry for your loss. I know you love dadu but he won't like seeing you like this" he said leaving me but rubbing my upper arm. I just shrugged it off and moved away from him. I have send him messages about dadu's death and even called him but he didn't return know he is here to say sorry for my loss.

"I'm tired Mr.Alam I will get some sleep" I said walking away. I can see hurt in his eyes but how can I just overcome that memories which flashed back making me place Idris at dad's position or I must say in place of man who was not their when I needed him

I just went to bed and passed out with pain in my heart from loss. It pained to feel that loneliness and unimportance again. I know Idris work is important but now I can't get my heart to agree with. I passed out in few minutes with crying at repeating of events. Why do people don't care about my feelings and leave me alone when I need them.

Only if she know that not importance that she lost but love she expected to have from him tooo

Hadith of the day:
A man from among those who were before you was called to account.Nothing in the way of good was found for him except that he used to have dealings with people and, being well-to-do, he would
order his servants to let off the man in straitened circumstances [from repaying his debt].  He (the Prophet p.b.u.h) said that Allah said: We are worthier than you of that (of being so generous).Let him off.
[Al-Qudsi]