ZaDr After The Florpus

Struggle With Emotion

     "That is the fifth dish he has broken! That is it!!"
     Gir is in the lab still rebooting and I've been chasing this thing around since Dib left... Oh no.
     Now it everytime I think about him. I hate this feeling. What did Dib call them? Butterflies. Winged creatures are tying knots in my Squeedlyspooch. I hate this whole mating thing. I don't like it. Especially  because I don't understand how it would work. I... am confused.
     Ah!
     "Kenny the idiot monkey, I will be your demise!"
     Stupid creature! Where is the broom at?! My hitting device to this little pest!
     "Get the broom before he knocks another camera out of place."
     "I can't find the broom, Computer!"
     "In the kitchen by the fridge. Don't need to yell, jerk."
     "I would demand you to help, but he might tear your mobile unit to shreds."
     "Right."
     Yes, right where he said it would be.
     "Kenny!"
     I swung the broom at him and he latched onto it and slid down on it and jumped off before I could get him.
     "I hate this thing."
     "It probably hates you too."
     "Shut up computer!"
     "Make me!"
     "You know that I can, fool!"
     "Oh right. Oops."
     "Exactly, imbicile. Kenny, get off the fridge!"
     "Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Dib membrane approaching."
     "Gir! Wait, you're still rebooting."
     "Zim?"
     Oh great. Calm down, Zim. You can do it.
     Opening the door, Dib had the widest smile on his face and he held a small packet of paper.
     "Hey, can I come in?"
     "I don't think I should let you-"
     "C-Come on. I had my first day of training. And I found out something about myself."
     "Wh-What?"
     "Come on, dude. Let me in and I'll show you."
     "Alright. Come on in, I guess. Kenny, get off the... ugh!"
     "Whoa!"
     I took off with the broom and swung it at Kenny. Kenny screamed at me and then took off into the kitchen.
     "I hate that thing."
     "So why do you have it?"
     "Gir."
     "He's still doing stuff like this?"
     "Yup. From the zoo, by the way. I told him to stop taking animals from the zoo!"
     "After the lion incident. Right."
     "You knew about that?"
     "Duh. He got into my backyard."
     "Right. Are you coming in or-or not, puny earth worm?"
     "Okay, chill. Come on."
     I followed him to the small table that sat in the room with the TV, and sat down on the couch. He laid his papers out on the table and then sat down right next to me.
     "T-Too close, earth thing."
     "Oh shut up. The quicker I tell you this, the quicker I'll leave."
     "You are not going to drop this, are you, human?"
     "I will not. So launching me and the gnomes will not work."
     "They haven't really worked anyways. Alright. But make it quick."
     "Okay. My father was the last known species of his planet, Venus. He came to earth after the pressure of the planet became too much for their race. He was the first alien to devote his life to protecting earth and help the MiB members. My father and the now leader of MiB were partners at that time. I was a side project. Eventually, my dad decided to make me, the side project, into a reality. Followed by my sister a year after. I even have a chemical list and everything. My father had made me who I am today. I was always keen to the paranormal side of things. And look at the chemical list he created."
     "Chemical list?"
     "He had to carefully measure everything I would add up to be. Look at all of these things. He added everything to be, including the right chemical balance in the brain and-"
     "This blueprint looks like you when we first met."
     "It was an idea of what I would become. Even in his notes. He wanted me to be curious, open minded, adventurous, protective... So he's the reason I am rejected among my classmates. Well that, and my inability to trust most humans."
     "Facinating. And your sister?"
     "That one didn't go quite as planned. My father forgot to add an ounce of delicacy and so she's a stone cold bitch. But over all, we turned out the way he wanted us too. Now I just wish he could remember."
     "And you can not say anything to him, right?"
     "Right."
     "Because he'll look at you like you're crazy."
     "Exactly."
     "That is interesting. Not going to lie, though. I knew your father was an alien, and I knew you were made in a lab."
     "Why didn't you tell me, ass?"
     "I didn't know what the idea would do to you. Would you believe me if I told you with no evidence?"
     "Good point. I took it so well after I put everything together. At first I was upset, to say the least. This is just so fascinating, though. So after I saw the papers... I was no longer upset."
     "Sir."
     "What Computer?!"
     "Gir is awake."
     "Finally. Thank you, computer."
     "Wow. Not a moment too soon. Looks like Kenny was getting angry in the kitchen."
     "Well, he ran out of things to break. Miserable earth creature."
     "Me or the monkey?"
     "The monkey, dirt worm."
     You act like it was obvious. You call me things like that all the time."
     "Lies!"
     "Ha, you just called me dirt worm."
     "But... huh, I guess I do. Curse you, Dib. You logic using, monkey brained, earth worm."
     "Wow, I don't know how to feel about your statement. Anyways-"
     "Kenny!"
     "That would be Gir."
     Whoa. He touched me. Oh no. Oh, no, it's happening again.
     "Oh boy. What the hell did I do now?"
     "Doesn't take much, Dib. I am at-at the peak at the moment. Now if you wish to leave this house tonight, I would leave now."
     "You're at your peak? So this should be over by tomorrow?"
     "Or the... the next day."
     "Okay, I'm going. Sorry to bother you. But one more thing."
     "What, Dib-Stink?"
     I watched him gather up all of his papers and then he pushed his lips briefly onto my face and then took off.
     "What-What?"
     I can hear my hearts all throbbing in my ears. That was a small sign of affection that earthlings share with one another. I've never had that happen before. Nobody has ever desired to do that to me.
     "Zim! You're skin tone is so dark green, it's almost black!"
     "Co-Computer?"
     "Yes, sir?"
     "Play piano music. Any soft kind. Now. And please blare it!"
     "Yes, sir."
      Calm down, Zim. Calm down.