Chapter 18

4.6K 126 13
                                    

Walking to school, or even outside at all for that matter, was something that I had greatly missed. The scenery that surrounded me was amazing, so all I did really was admire it as I walked. Tohru had attempted to try and get my attention, to talk to me about things like what classes I was exited about or what the plans were for lunch.

I replied with one word answers or gestures, glued to the scenery around me. Kyo told Tohru to pay no attention to me if I didn't reply, and part of me thanked him. A view like this was no simple walk to school. All of the people, places, things...it was almost too much to take in.

I wonder if Akito ever got out like this...I haven't heard of him setting foot outside of the Sohma estate unless he absolutely had to....

Does he ever take the time to appreciate the scenery around him? Does he miss it when he goes back into the house? Can he find himself longing to see it, like I do?

I was brought into the school by following the three in front of me, being taken to the class that we would be seated at for most of our day. I was placed in the class with Tohru and the others, for convenience and so that I had someone I knew that I could talk to. Hatori was kind for planning things out to be that way.

However, I didn't take full advantage at it. I just sat down at my desk, staring down at the flat surface in front of me. School wasn't exiting as it was months ago, when I first sat at a desk and was exited to make the friends I had been told to make. This was different.

It was like the school walls were void of any color, the pens that sat on desks only wrote in black ink, and the people surrounding me wore monotone expressions. I tried to snap myself out of it, closing my eyes tightly before shaking my head and looking back around me. Everything was back to normal.

I just needed to snap out of this slump I was in. I was doing so much better than I was before. I can't go back to my bedroom at the Sohma estate and I definitely can't go back to Akito...he forced me out from what I've known to live at a house I've only briefly seen before to live with people who I don't even know that well.

I trained my eyes back to the front of the classroom, where class was starting. I only caught Tohru and the other two Sohma boys living with her glancing at one another.

After that, school went on as normal. Lectures, questions, answers, homework, lunch, socializing, working, so on and so forth. Thanks to Hatori's strict curriculum and my own curiosity everything seemed easy to me...like I didn't need to be here.

Bad thought, moving on.

I admired the way the scenery seemed to change depending on what time of day you were outside in on the way back, so there was no attempt made to socialize with me. And even if there was, it didn't last long or didn't start up again. It seemed like it didn't take long to get back to Shigure's home for the night. Tohru made dinner. It was definitely good, but not quite the comfort food that I was craving the the moment.

I remained quiet at dinner, Shigure attempted to provoke some conversation with a few questions about how school went for me today. I gave him the most honest answer that I could muster, would would be 'it was fine'.

After dinner I went upstairs to the room the was provided to me to claim to do some homework. The actual work took me a few minutes to complete, leaving me to stare at myself in the mirror.

Today was boring. There wasn't anything interesting at all. I mean, even if I described it there wouldn't be any dialogue to it, no sustenance, no certain something. It was just monotoned, it was just okay. Things seemed to be more than okay when I was back home in my room. They seemed more than okay when Hatori was just a few minutes away from my door, they seemed okay when I could just paint freely because I didn't care about my room getting dirty, they seemed okay when Akito stole one of my paintings from the outside of my room. It seemed okay when I was home.

But I can't go home. I have to stop thinking about going home, I can't go back. It's not good for me if I go back there...and even if I did, Akito would stop me. Because he doesn't want a filthy rodent like me living there.

I looked at myself in the mirror again, taking in everything about me that made me unique. Like my hair...the hair that had reached all the way down my back. The hair that Hatori would braid for me on occasion to keep it out of my face. The hair that Akito used to pull when he had tried to punish me for things I didn't deserve. When he ran his fingers through it to comfort me, malicious or not.

This was the hair that....

—————

Akito and I were sitting near an open set of sliding doors, looking outside and just admiring the nature that we got to live in as small children.

He reached out and touched my hair with a small hand, but still a little bigger than mine. "Your hair..." He spoke, running his fingers through it "It's all tangly. Don't you ever brush it?"

I looked towards him and shook my head "No, I can't ever reach all of the spots...and no one had time to brush my hair today." I looked down at my lap, ashamed that my hair was so bad today.

The next thing I knew, there was a sharp pulling sensation on my head "Ouchie..." I mumbled softly then looked back. Akito was on his knees, trying desperately to get the brush through my hair.

"Sit still." He spoke "I'm not good at brushing hair so this'll probably hurt a lot. But by the end it'll look better." A painful noise of hair pulling sounded through the room that made me flinch.

However, I let out a soft smile and spoke in a light tone "Thank you, Akito...."

He was silent for a minute while he kept taking the brush through my mangled hair "Just don't ever let it get this bad again. Who knows what'll happen if it gets worse."

I giggled softly "Okay!"

—————

This was the hair that he helped me brush back when we were little...back when he treated me with nothing but love and kindness, back when he didn't push me away.

I couldn't dwell on this any longer....I couldn't go back. I couldn't for myself and I couldn't for him. He didn't want me back. I had to get rid of this feeling.

I eyed a pair of scissors on my desk in the corner of the room. Thoughtlessly, I walked over, picked them up, and walked back to the mirror.

I then picked up a strand of my long hair, took a deep breath, and began to cut if off.

The Missing Zodiac [A Fruits Basket FanFiction]Where stories live. Discover now