06 | LIQUID PROMISES

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06
LIQUID
PROMISES

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       THERE WAS A time when she had other people in her life. Maybe they genuinely cared when they asked if she was okay or if she needed help, but all their questions angered her. They just didn't understand. She was sick of people, sick of the way they screamed at her, sick of the way they judged her. So she slowly let them disappear until all that was left for her was a wrenching loneliness.

       Because he didn't do the same for her. All she wanted was him, but it turned out she wasn't all he wanted.

       He whispered so many names in his sleep, names that were never hers.

       It drove her mad.

       When he kissed her, when he fucked her, when he held her, she wondered if someone else's name was on his lips. She wondered the same cursed thoughts every day, it drove her absolutely mad.

       What's my name? she asked once again.

       He sighed like he was tired of this. Tired of her.

       Say my name! Say it! Have you forgotten it? she yelled. The night was cold and the alcohol had taken possession of her.

       He said he didn't. He wasn't looking at her, but at the knife in her hand instead.

The only thing that made him notice her.

       You have! Oh god, you have, she said as she waved the knife around. I'll remind you. I'll carve it on my skin, so you won't forget. Right here! she pointed the knife at her neck, holding it dangerously close. Her hands shook. Is that what you want?

       He said it wasn't.

       She cried and she cried, her grip on the knife starting to loosen. I'll write it in blood right here on my neck so you won't ever forget. I'll do it! I will! And it'll be your fault.

       The knife felt so cold against her skin.

       Don't, he said quietly, making his way to her. She watched him through blurred eyes as he stood in front of her. He looked like a dream.

       His hand wrapped around hers and carefully removed the knife from her grip.

       Then say my name, she whispered.

       So he did, and her entire body sagged with relief. She burrowed herself into the warmth of his body, telling him that was all she wanted. All she needed.

       He said it again.

       And again.

       She smiled, a teary-eyed, red-faced smile. Her fears had been dismissed, her feeble heart mended back together.

       She looked up at him as he looked down, eyes darting down to her neck.

       There's only you, he said. Just you. She means nothing to me, you know that right? It's only you.

       His beautiful words fell at her ears like music. She sighed in satisfaction and nodded.

       I promise, he said.

       He made a lot of promises.

       Except his golden promises were just watered-down alcohol that she had already gotten drunk on.

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