Save me Romeo (bxb)

Chapter 38 - Cat fight

Even though I had slept wrapped in Romeos strong arms, I didn't sleep for one minute that night. Now that the anger was at ease, my anxiety was going through the fucking roof. Tomorrow I would be face to face with the one person that hurt me the most. The one person who ruined my life and wanted to do it again. Ray. Just thinking that name makes my blood boil. 

He did the unspeakable and I had always wondered why. Why me? I mean, not to brag, but I wasn't too bad looking. But that isn't a fucking reason for what he did. Did he hate me? But we barely ever talked, so why the fuck would he... would he do that to me? And if he hated me, he could have simply beat me up, there was no need to.. to.. you know. 

Romeo stirred next to me, probably sensing that I wasn't asleep, so I quickly cuddled myself against him, to keep him asleep. He deserved to have one fucking night where he doesn't wake up to a screaming me, because I had another nightmare. Well, thats the perk of not even going to sleep, because you can't have a nightmare if you just stare at the ceiling the whole fucking night. Great. Nobody could foresee what was going to happen tomorrow. Hopefully, everything would go to plan, but my biggest concern wasn't even that... I was afraid I would have a panic attack before he properly confessed and everything would be for nothing. I couldn't do that to them, my family and friends I mean. 

I looked up at the sleeping boy I was cuddled up against, who was breathing heavily, apparently fast asleep again. Was he worried as well? I knew he was more than ready to fight and probably really looked forward to beating the shit out of Ray when he finally could, but wasn't he worried everything would go wrong? My stomach was tightening at that idea and I felt like throwing up. I will never ever be prepared for what was going to happen tomorrow. Never.

-

Faking a good nights sleep wasn't too hard for me. I had done it before, many times, so I knew what would make the dark bags under my eyes disappear and how to act all energetic when really you just wanted to die, just so you could rest. Doing it in front of Romeo was a bit of a challenge and he asked me many times during our quick breakfast before school, if I actually slept well or if I was feeling out of it, but I lied every time. He didn't need to worry more than he already was, I mean, I was anxious as fuck and didn't sleep at all and dreaded the whole thing we had planed today for Ray, but I wasn't hurt or anything. I just had to get through it and everything would be fine. 

He didn't seem too convinced, but decided to drop it for the moment and drive us to school. The whole first period I just stared ahead, not listening to a word Luke was telling me or the teacher was explaining at the front and just tapped my foot nervously up and down like a kid that had ADHD or something like that. I didn't even notice I was doing it until I felt a hand resting on my knee to stop my movements and when I looked over to who the hand belonged, I met Lukes sad and understanding smile, before he mouthed 'Its going to be ok' to me. I just nodded and tried to seem alright, but on the inside, I was shaking and ready to have a panic attack or throw up at any fucking second. Or both.

The next few periods didn't turn out any better. The closer lunch was coming, the more nervous I got. I tried not to show it too much, especially when I had class with Amelie or Luke, but apparently I failed miserably. Amelie even had to do my breathing exercises with me once and around the fifth period, which I had with Ray and seeing him made me panic even more, I had to text Jaxson, who was free, to get me out of the class and take a smoking break with me. Well, he didn't smoke, but I really fucking needed one. He had knocked on the classroom door and told the teacher it was something about me helping the coach with something and I was actually excused. 

I think everybody just believed Jaxson, as he is a really trustworthy person. Romeo was actually free as well at that time, but I didn't want to worry him and Jaxson understood that. So he promised not to tell him. The smoking break helped a little, but I still felt so nervous, I wanted to run back home and hide in my room forever. In front of Jaxson, I tried to keep my cool, but when he patted my back in the most comforting way I had ever seen Jaxson do anything, I actually felt a little better.