Reverse BatFam Trash

You Know You Can Tell Me Anything (Pride)

May 31st. Jason had been stockpiling everything rainbow in preparation; he and Roy were going to use zeta tubes to hit up almost every parade in the country throughout the month. Barbra had purchased a cute bi-pride skirt. Tim plastered pride flags and  Ally-symbols on everything. Even Damian, tough bitch he is, had purchased a tiny rainbow flag which stuck haphazardly out of his bag. It seemed the only sibling who didn't really care was Dick. He was oblivious to the whole "Pride month" thing; more preoccupied by how finals were coming up. 

"There's no way he's straight." Barbra whispered, watching Dick from a distance. "Him of all people?"

"Oh no way!" Jason laughed. "Tiny green shorts? pixie boots? Wally? He's got to be Gay!"

"Or European?" Barbra commented, referencing her favorite scene from Legally Blonde.

"I mean... shiny shirts and tiny shorts." He agreed. "But if you recall, in the show, Nikos was actually gay and European."

"True." Babs admitted "I'm going to test him." She strolled across to where Dick was writing his essay. "Hey kiddo, Pride month is coming up."

"Hmm."

"I said Pride month is coming up!" 

He snapped out of his hyper-focused trance. "Oh, cool." He returned to scratching his pencil on the paper. 

"Are you going to go to any of the events?"

"Mmmaybe." He tried to draw his attention back to the essay, but his hyper-focus was broken. His brow furrowed, ADHD kicking back up. After hours, which was just acctually just a few painful seconds of clutching his head, he broke. "Gah! I can't! Can someone get me some Adderall please?"

"Get it yourself!" One of his brothers called. 

"I think Jason would really like you to go to the city parade." She pryed.

"I dunno? I'll see if I'm busy that day?" He cradled his skull in frustration.

Barbra waited a few seconds. "Dick, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Okay... I'm going to fail English."

"Dickie... it has to be true."

"It is true! What the HELL is a semi-colon?"

Babs sighed. "What's it like having queer siblings?"

"I dunno, it's fine I guess."

"You know, sometimes I think Jason has at least two queer brothers too."

"Tim and Dami?" He asked.

"Well, yeah, Tim is a  mysterious case." Barbra admitted. "But, like, do you ever feel weird, or singled out?"

"No." he figured. "We're basically on the same level." Now this, this was something!

"Anyway, I think Tim is drawing up a timetable of all the LGBTQ events this month."

"Well, maybe if I'm done studying... sure! I'll go!"

"Nice, so do you want to invite someone?"

"Am I supposed to?"

"You don't have to, but its fun to bring a friend, maybe you could bring... oh, I dunno..." She pretended to think about it. "How about Wally? He could stay here overnight and we could make a weekend out of it." Dick said that he was pretty sure Wally was busy. "Oh, no big deal, I'll call Barry tonight and organize something."

"No, it's not just that, it's... it's weird to go to a pride parade with your best friend. Same gender best friend." He clarified.

"Why?"

"People'll think I'm gay."

"ARE YOU?" Barbra burst out, unable to hold it back. Dick froze, and hastily looked away from her, to his essay page; grabbing his pencil with a shaky hand, he began scribbling nonsensical words. "Dick?" he pretended not to hear. "Y'know, you live a life where if your seen in public with ANYONE your age, people are going to assume you're dating." This didn't seem to comfort him. "Look, people suck, if your going to end up on on the front page of Peoples Magazine, wouldn't you rather it be with your.... 'best friend'?"

Dick was silent for a few moments. "Yes."