33: Tears of Regret

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-His emotions were never supposed to destroy him-

Leaning against the metal railing of the fifth floor,  Demir took a deep sigh and stared down at her...watching her smiles as she dragged her family across the centre of the hotel and excitedly pointed at random pieces of expensive decorations. She was making her family feel at home, relaxing their nerves. 

The village boy who was nowhere near her, but still the thought of him being here...her deciding to adore that boy instead, had destroyed Demir, burned him with maniac jealousy and possessiveness. He didn't know how to remain stable without losing his mind. The thought and fear of losing his wife were haunting him...suffocating him. He didn't know how he could convince Maya that his world no longer had another...it was only her. The way she had shielded her heart, was refusing to even look at him, had his heart and soul bleeding. 

All his life, Demir had made so many mistakes, but breaking his wife's heart was something that would forever torture him. He had been a disastrous husband; so cruel and brutal. Now that the memories of how he had actually used her as his punching bag to get over Meeran's 'supposed' death constantly played in his mind, he knew that there was a huge possibility that he had already lost his precious wife, and he just didn't know how to deal with that...how to avoid going back to that dark place from which he just recently returned.  

He was just a man who wanted his wife to forgive him...be by his side. Maya seemed so far out of reach now...so different and strong. Her eyes...even though they still kept him captivated, they had closed all doors for him, and Demir couldn't help but feel frustrated about not being able to reach the deep folds of her soul. He wanted to know if her heart still felt something for him. 

Seeing her now smile...laugh...as she bonded with her family made his heart clench in an agonizing way and fists tighten around the railing. It had been so long since he had made her laugh like that...smile. All he ever did was make her cry and feel so insecure. Time had explained to him that her feeling insecure and not really trusting him hadn't really been her fault. He had always so brutally promised to hold onto the memories of Meeran that he had failed to realize the damage he was doing. 

Everything happens for a reason. It was a lesson learned too late. He shouldn't have stayed clinging to his past when he was rewarded with such a refreshing chapter in his life. Moments of grief shouldn't have cost him his future. Maya was someone he had unconsciously searched for all his life. She brightened his world...had made him experience a life that didn't revolve around money, snobbish norms and status. Her gaze...her innocent ways and original personality, which deserved to be sheltered away from this world, had felt like an exciting storm to him.

He wanted to shiver in the breeze of that storm.

His senses...every emotion were now so desperately revolving around his wife. Every thought...every air he breathed reminded him of how obsessed he was with Maya. This month was supposed to be meant for solely him and her making amends, learning to move on, but then, just so many people were coming in the way. Zaheer...Meeran...he had no clues on how to handle her arrival. 

Why was she here?

He knew that he had broken Meeran's heart. Despite her cold and carefree attitude, he knew that his first wife was hurting and breaking over him moving on. But, breaking her heart was just inevitable. He had never thought that there would ever come a time that he would let her go, but he had. Their story was just conditional. Maya was the one who truly shifted his entire world and made him see a whole new side of life. Adoring her had been such a real and wholesome experience...and maybe, that is why he acted like a beast towards her. 

The fear and anxiety of being completed consumed by her...the dread of her having complete control over him had been so terrifying that he lashed out at the first chance he got. It was wrong, and now there was another guy in her life. It killed him to even think about her moving on with that guy.

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