Sucks to Suck (Spider-Man/X-Men Females X Male Reader)

Poker Face

The entire time I was walking with Pietro I was cautious of what he might try. He says we're cool but I wouldn't be cool with someone almost drowning me. I'd say I would be so not cool with it, in fact, that I would then try to in turn, drown the person who tried to drown me... I don't know why I phrased that like a Norm MacDonald joke but whatever. We entered a room with five other people in it. One guy who was watching tv in all black, I recognized him as the guy who dropped the building on me last night. One guy was in the corner lifting weights far away from everyone else. He had to be at least 8 and a half feet tall. Finally at a table sat three people. Two of them I recognized, the fat fuck and the weird kid with the tongue from last night. For some reason the fat one was in his underwear and the kid with the tongue wasn't wearing a shirt. They were sitting with a girl with really white skin, dark black hair, a black spot over one of her eyes and also happened to be fully clothed.

"BULLSHIT!" The weird kid shouted before taking off his pants. "HOW DO YOU KEEP WINNIN'!?"

"I dunno. Luck, I guess." The girl shrugged. "Cute boxers, by the way. Your boyfriend over here buy that for you?" She said nudging at the fat guy.

"Hey, guys, look who finally came around!" Pietro shouted. Everyone looked over at me, except for the big guy in the corner. He looked for about one second and then grunted before lifting weights. Seriously I can't get over this guy he's like a fucking juggernaut.

"What's with the spider on his costume? I thought his thing was shutting off people's powers." The girl said. "Please don't tell me he's another weirdo like Toad."

"Hey! What's wrong with there being another me!?" The tongue guy asked.

"...Your tadpole is showing." The girl said. Toad looked down at his crotch and screamed before pulling his pants up.

"MAN, I QUIT!" He said before jumping away from the table and towards me while putting his puke green shirt on. "Name's Mort but you can call me Toad." He said extending a hand which I assume was covered in mucus.

"...I'm not shaking that hand." I said.

"No one ever does." Pietro said patting me on the back and walking away from Toad. The guy in black got off the couch and walked towards me.

"Hey, man. Lance Alvers. Avalanche. Sorry about dropping the house on your head." He said also offering a handshake, but this time I accepted it.

"Yeah, man whatever." I said. Pietro pointed at the guy in the corner.

"That guy over there is Juggernaut. Don't talk to him and don't get on his bad side." He said.

"Wait, his name is actually Juggernaut!? That's actually cool!" I said. Pietro walked me over to the table where the fat guy and the girl were still playing strip poker.

"Are you sure you wanna keep going Blob? I really don't wanna see you in your birthday suit." The girl said.

"No way! I'm not stopping until I at least see your cans!" Blob said.

"Okay, then why don't I just quit before you make a decision we all regret and expose your two incher to everyone?"

"You know the rules! If a girl quits she has to strip anyways!" Blob said. A decently sized rock hit him in the side of the head. "Ow!"

"Give it up, Blob! I don't wanna see your junk! Also, how stupid are you to play strip poker with a mutant who's power is literally that she's lucky!?" Lance shouted.

"Ugh, don't remind him! That's what makes these so funny!" The girl said.

"Wait, what?" Blob said like the gears just started turning in his head. You could practically hear them click when his face went from stupid to enraged. "AAAAAAAAH I HATE YOU!" He said before storming off, with the ground shaking with each step.

"So, Uh, that guy was Blob." Pietro said. "And this is Domino." He said turning me to face the girl.

"Domino? Is that like your government name or-?"

"Are you gonna be dumb like the other two because if so it's gonna go from kinda funny but also annoying to just really annoying around here." Domino said.

"I'm not dumb but keep that attitude up and it is just gonna be really annoying around here." I said.

"I think you two are going to get along just fine." Pietro said with a smirk. "Listen, no offense compadre, but you look like shit. Why don't I go get you some clean clothes or something?"

"Orrrrr I could just go home and change?"

"Maybe if Mystique didn't have plans for you but for now you've gotta stay put. I'll be back in a flash! Don't do something stupid!" Pietro said before running out of the room.

"So is there anyone else in this motley crew I should know about?" I asked everyone.

"Two, actually." Lance said. "There's Frost and then there's the boss."

"The boss?" I asked.

"He has a bit of a 'he who shall not be named' vibe around here but his name's Magneto." Domino said. "Word of advice if you see him, don't get on his bad side. Even with your powers you wouldn't stand a chance. At least not alone."

"Well, that's good to know." I muttered. "Listen, I've had a rough night and I'd like to sleep somewhere that isn't a cold cell with no bed. Is there somewhere for me to crash?"

"Yeah, I got ya, man. Come on." Toad said before hopping towards a set of doors. I followed him in and we started to walk down a long futuristic looking corridor, which was surprising considering everything else so far look like it was a gothic castle. Instead of making conversation I spent the whole time thinking about everything that happened last night. I never checked to see if Black Cat was okay. She probably didn't appreciate that. Not to mention what the hell happened with Gwen. Why didn't I run after her?

"Here it is." Toad said hopping into a pretty empty room. The only things in it were a bed and a poster with a cat hanging from a tree saying "Hang in There". "I picked out the poster." Toad admitted proudly.

"Uhhh, thanks?" I said.

"Don't mention it. Holla at me if you need anything else." He said before hopping away.

"...So like can he just not walk normally or what?"