Love & Loss

Chapter 55

Nico's POV:

I sat in silence, my head resting in one hand while the other fiddled with my ring through my shirt.

My heart was guiltily pumping faster in my chest as I listened to the sound of Khloe's footsteps exiting the library, followed by Xander's approaching once she was gone.

"I take it you heard all of that?" He questioned as soon as he rounded the corner to where I was sitting.

I didn't say anything, just nodded before dragging my hand down my face to partially cover my mouth.

"Did she know you were here?" He followed up, retaking his previous seat across from me.

"I doubt it," Is all I said.

I didn't specify to her where I would be, but I guess she assumed I wouldn't be here.

Xander sighed almost disappointedly, scooting his chair forward and setting his arms on the table.

"I can't believe you didn't tell her," he muttered.

I met his gaze through a glare.

"Why would I tell her?"

"Why wouldn't you tell her?!" he retorted.

The hand by my mouth tightened into a fist.

"Did you tell Doe?" I countered.

He said nothing for a moment as he leaned forward, his eyes now narrowing.

"He's not after Doe," he spoke very slowly.

"He could be."

"He has no reason to be!"

"He has no reason to be after Khloe either, but here we are!" I growled.

The next seconds were filled with deafening silence, his disappointed glare meeting mine.

My guilt and overall feeling of helplessness had shifted into anger, regardless of that being the last thing that I wanted.

Xander didn't get it. At least not to the level that I did.

And the fact that I was constantly trying to think of a solution to no avail, made this whole thing a very sensitive topic.

Even more so now that I overheard how it was affecting her.

I couldn't even say that what Xander said to her was wrong.

I knew I was stubborn, and I knew how I acted when things were bothering me, but as he said, it works for me more often than not.

The tension in the room slowly simmered down, both of us eventually realizing that that argument wasn't going to get us anywhere.

"Why didn't you tell her?" he asked, his voice calm with that same concern he held while talking to Khloe.

The speed at which my guilt returned almost gave me whiplash.

Hopefully, it didn't show outwardly.

"I don't want her to worry," was what I only planned on saying, but the look in Xander's eyes told me that he knew that wasn't the whole answer, " If I told her what was going on, then she'd revert from the confident and cheery girl that she's become here into being fearful and constantly worried about what every new day brings her. Especially if she figures out that I-"

I cut myself as soon as my voice threatened to show some of the pure emotion behind my words.

I couldn't let that happen to her, not after all that she's been through.

"That if worse comes to worst, depending on how badly dad wants her, you'd be powerless to stop him." Xander finished for me.

I just nodded.

I couldn't think of an alternative plan that might be able to sway him.

I debated asking my father about it, telling him that I stumbled upon his spy, and gathered some information, but that might lead him to straight force.

I'm not even sure if he's realized his spy had been compromised yet, and I tried to take advantage of that time while I could.

Even if I did bring it up with him, I feared my already existing anxiety about this might show him the truth.

I didn't even want to think of what would follow that if he found out the truth.

The only option that seemed even barely like it might work would be sending her away.

Somewhere safe and somewhere he couldn't find her.

But I don't know if I was willing to do that.

Not at this point.

"Don't you think she has a right to know? I get that you don't want her to worry, but I think this is one of those situations where you cant avoid that. You're already worried, even I'm worried because this is something that we should be worried about. I don't know what he wants her for, but I can't imagine its good. If things happen to go awry and he gets her and she has no prior knowledge about the situation at hand and had no possible way to prepare herself or at least have a plan, then how is she going to feel?"

"That's not going to happen," I spoke through clenched teeth.

"But it could. And we both know that."

I looked off to the side, swallowing hard.

He was right.

As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't.

And then suddenly the thought that I wasn't with her right now to protect her became almost unbearable.

"Look, I'm not trying to tell you that you absolutely have to tell her, I'm just saying think about it. You know more about this situation than I do, and you know her better than I do. I just think thinks might be better if she knows." He concluded.

I eventually met his gaze again after repeating my same thoughts over and over in my head.

"Why didn't you tell her?" I asked, "She came to you for help, and you knew what was going on, but you didn't tell her?"

He just shrugged.

"I thought about it, but it's not my place. I figured that you knew what you were doing." Is all he said.

I just slowly nodded.

"Thank you... for being there for her," I cleared my throat, "She doesn't open up to people easily, so its good to know that she trusts you."

An almost giddy and surprised look came across him as his hand met his chest.

It appeared he was really happy about that fact.

"I'll keep that in mind," He said, his voice purposely not matching the excitement on his face, "Think about it, Nico. I don't want to see this whole thing go wrong because Khloe didn't know what was going on."

I just nodded again.

I'd think about it.

Even if I did decide to tell her, I don't even know how Id word it.

"Good," He said before standing, "Then I'm gonna head out."

"Where are you gonna go?"

"I'm hungry so I'm gonna head to the kitchen unless you have something that you want me to do here."

"Not here but uh, keep an eye on her for me?" I asked.

He nodded with a small smile before turning to do just that.