Imperfectly Dangerous(COMPLETED)(✔️)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

                                                          
The flight back to New York was deathly silent, then add the fact that we were using Liam's private jet. I didn't know what to say to Liam and I'm certain he also felt the same way too. Like how do we go from the whole weird kissing talk, and the whole rejection thing. I felt so bad, but honestly I felt like Liam was using me as a rebound, although he was too nice to realize that he might be using me as a rebound. He just ended his relationship with Amber, and he might be confusing hurt and him liking me. The fact that he knew who I was is another twist, I just can't understand anymore. I groaned and placed my hand on my head, everything just feels like a soap opera.

Why does love have to be complicated? Why can't I just pick one guy off the street, we profess love and the next day we're walking up the altar, then soon I start popping out babies? Why isn't life that easy?

I slept off because honestly the whole thing was hurting both my heart and head. I just want to fall in love without any complications. Have you ever been in a relationship that you know if the other person should break up with you, you won't only be scarred, you will break and become unfixable? That's how it feels with Liam. I feel if I let him in and he decides that he doesn't want to be with me, I'll be broken beyond ever being fixable. Liam wasn't just it for me, he was everything.

Have you ever met someone and you just wonder where they've been your entire life? Like, I clicked with Liam right way. He was the yin to my yang, the milk to my coffee latte. You get right?

I have walked away from relationships, and trust me I have had shitty relationships. When I say I have come close to the altar, I meant literally come close. Like I was at the altar, when Ryder suddenly decided that he wasn't ready for marriage. Like dude I never forced you to put a ring on my finger. I even aked that ass-wipe if it wasn't it too early for us to get married? I mean within two months of dating each other, he decides that marriage is the best. That moron told the priest that he wasn't ready and had the guts to turn to me and said, 'Baby, hope you understand that I can't be tired down right?' Trust me when I punched and broke his nose, I showed him how much I understood. I felt bad for just a week but when I evaluated my emotions, I realized that I was just angry that Maddie had another thing to use to mock me. I walked away from that barely scarred.

I had an innocent crush on the person that held my hand that day but when I found out that Liam was the same person, my love intensified.
I just want to be with Liam, no complications. Is that too much to ask?

I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder gently, I mumbled 'just five minutes please', then person stopped shaking me. I was about to drift back to sleep after some time but I heard Liam's voice in my ear, "Five minutes is up Lettie."
I yelped, suddenly remembering where I was. You know what was embarrassing, I was resting my head on Liam's shoulder. Now, let me tell you what was more embarrassing. I had my arms wrapped around Liam's torso, how I got in that position I'm not aware, but man I wasn't looking good right now.
I mean I pushed him away, and asking him to think about it for two weeks and now I was wrapping myself around him.
Talk about needy, desperate and clingy all wrapped in one package.

"I'm sorry about this." I smiled shyly  apologizing for hugging his torso and resting my head on his shoulder. Normal Liam would have made a joke how he knows he's so valuable, and how my sub-conscious is also in on the whole thing. But Liam just mumbled a 'it's fine' and started going out of the jet.

I felt tears brimming in my eyes because it's surprising how we went from 'best people' to 'we don't talk anymore.'  I'm sure going to jam 'We don't talk anymore by Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez' when I get back home as I cry my eyes out 'cause that song is my life right now.

"How are you getting back home?" Liam asked grudgingly. Like he didn't want to know, but decided to be polite and just ask.
"My friend is picking me up." I lied.
I actually didn't tell anyone that I was coming in today.
"I would have pressured you so I can take you home, but against my better judgement, I've decided to give you the space you deserve. See you later Lettie. Despite everything, I had fun." He smiled a bit, and did his little wave thing as he walked backwards. He did that until he got to his car where his driver was waiting.

I watched him until I couldn't see his car again, and at that moment it felt like I'm never going to see him again, so I started tearing up.

I walked for sometime and decided to use the bus because I need some time to regroup and 'cause I didn't want to start crying like a lovesick fool by the time I get back home. I sat at the bus stop as I waited for the bus, not too long another lady joined me. Probably waiting for the bus too.
I was still there sniffing and doing all the messy things people that cry do, except I was trying to be secretive about it but I was obviously not successful because the lady noticed.

"Why are you crying?" She questioned, offering me a sympathetic look.
I ignored her question cause I obviously don't want to be telling my life history to a complete stranger.
"You may as well open up 'cause it's obvious you want to talk about it." She tried again.
I'm sorry lady, but I want to keep this bottled in me because I know how stupid I have been and I don't need another person telling me.
"If it makes you feel better, I'm a counselor so I'm basically qualified to listen your problem only this time it's for free and it's not within a confined environment. I'm within your age bracket so you don't have to feel like you are talking to your mom, it'll be more like you are talk to you older sister. Another plus is that we're the only ones here, so there's privacy." She said, giving me more reasons.
When I didn't budge, she spoke again. "The bus is going to be late. We still have," She checks her wristwatch and frowns a bit, "We still have forty minutes till the bus gets here, so you can either choose to talk to me or you can keep crying and hurting yourself." She insisted again.

This finally made me budge. I launched into full details, although leaving crucial things like our names, and other things that can give up who we are. After I was done, the lady whom I discovered her name was Mel in the course of our discussion, was quiet for a long time before she finally spoke, "Just off the record. Like forget my profession and take this like we are friends talking to each other. What you did was very stupid," I raised my eyebrows, while she just shrugged and continued, "You shouldn't have pushed him so far away, he's been there for you..." Mel talked and gave me loads of advise, and honestly I felt a bit bit better but all that evaporated when I got home.
Brie who obviously didn't know what happened, opened the door with a huge smile.

"Hope you scored the ass of that hot boss of yours, else I'm not letting you into this house and even April the most rational one amongst us is in support. Right April?" Brie hollered and I heard April say 'yes' from the sitting room.

"I let him go, Brie." I muttered sadly, trying my best not to cry.
"What? I didn't get you. What do you mean by you let him go?" Brie said, looking confused.
"I told him that he isn't sure he wants to be with me and he should think about it for two weeks but I'm scared that he won't come back. I let him go Brie, I'm such a fool." I finished the last part with a strangled cry.

I let him go to protect my heart but I don't know why it felt like letting him go, didn't make me feel better. It rather made me feel worse, because my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces and I didn't' know how to let it stop. It's like watching my life pass before my eyes without any idea how to stop it.

A/N- Have you ever let someone go and later discovered that letting them go hurt you more than you thought it would?