When Shadows Fall | BTS Kim Namjoon

Chapter 33: "Notorious"

A/N: As always, many thanks to everyone who reads this story! I appreciate every one of you <3 

***

I woke up to a long text from Namjoon. It was a funny story about him going home last night to find a few of the boys fighting in the kitchen because one of them had cooked a steak in the microwave, and it was absolutely the best thing I could have started my day with.

What was less of a good start was when, after sending off a reply text to Namjoon, I walked out of my room and found Jisuk sitting on the floor in the hallway, elbows on her knees and hands pressed against her face as she cried.

"Jisuk?"I asked, getting down on the floor with her and putting my hand on her arm.

She rubbed her finers hard against her eyelids and cheeks, trying to brush away the tears. "Sorry," she croaked.

I slid my arm around her shoulder to hug her. "No, don't say sorry. What's wrong?"

She stood up. I followed her into the kitchen where she grabbed a glass, only half-filling it with water before gulping some down.

"Sorry, it helps," she whispered, mouth twisting like she was trying not to start crying again. "You know, with the tightness in the throat?"

"Yeah, I know." I reached over to hold her hand. "What's wrong, Jisuk?"

After a purse of her lips, she said, "My parents called me. They... my dad, he wants me to move back home, commute to college. Because of what happened."

I nodded silently. I'd had the same conversation with my own parents.

"I don't want to have a commute like that, so we were arguing a little bit and he asked, 'Do you even feel safe in your apartment?' And I said yes." Jisuk pressed a hand to her mouth. "But after I hung up, I realized... I was lying."

As she started sobbing again, I grabbed her into a tight hug. I pressed my chin against her shoulder. What could I say? There was nothing I could say, no promise I could make, that would make her feel safe here. Every day we lived like soap bubbles, floating along trusting that the other soap bubbles wouldn't grow sharp corners and poke us, but it was so easy. So easy to completely destroy us.

So I said nothing, just hugged tighter and hoped that the touch would be some comfort to her, that the pressure would somehow communicate the empathy and support I had no words for.

*

"Chunhwa? Jeong Chunhwa?"

I steeled myself before turning around. After only three days of being back in classes, I'd already been accosted with far too many "I saw your name/picture/story in the newspaper – was that you? Oh my god, how did that even happen?" and et cetera. Anonymity, that luxury I'd been newly appreciative of after thinking about Namjoon's situation, had taken a small step away from me.

And with Jisuk's tears this morning, I was feeling especially sensitive about these question-attacks.

"Yes?" I asked as I turned. A tiny sigh of relief slipped out when I found who'd spoken: one of my coworkers from the university newspaper. Thank goodness – it was way too early in the morning to deal with a bunch of questions. "Oh, hi!"

"I thought that was you! Why haven't I seen you in the newspaper offices yet?"

I frowned. "Oh, I asked for a few days off to get into the swing of things. I'm heading in for my first shift now, actually."