bruises ,

brave boys don't scream (discussion)

tw for domestic abuse , assault and stuff surrounding that stuff. absolutely nothing graphic but it's mentioned. stay safe luvs xx

( how are y'all doing?

can you guys recommend me some youtubers? I aim to increase my procrastination- )

so I've been in YT a lot recently (because sometimes we all need to feel brain dead) and I went down the wormhole of news clips. because I'm a nerd who likes to educate himself (since the actual education system decided not to). and I stumbled onto the too-close-to-home subject of male victims of abuse/assault.

disclaimer: obviously I'm not invalidating any other kind of victim because bad things happen to everyone, I just wanted to pick this specific topic for once. assault/abuse can happen to anyone regardless of age, race, gender or any other factor.

ok. so. there's a fair bit of controversy surrounding the topic of male victims of assault. mainly that men just straight up can't be abused along with the stigma of weakness.

and I just wanted to address this because I'm your local vaguely opinionated soft boy.

I've been raised in a culture that strongly associates with the more old fashioned mindset of 'tough it out and get over it'. ive been told that if I cried I was weak, and if I got hurt I'd be told that it's just fine (fine being potentially broken bones but hey, suck it up). it's taken me a few hot years to realise that emotions and femininity are in no way correlated to weakness. I've had people do things to me and I've never said anything because that's never been an option for me.

and that isn't really right I guess.

( warning: laurie being vulnerable. I'm so going to regret being this stupid later oops). I've spent countless nights berating myself and blaming myself and hating myself for things, telling myself I should've been stronger or better or faster or tougher or manlier. and in retrospect, now that I'm on a journey of awkward self appreciation, not all of those things were my fault.

according to research, majority of domestic abuse cases against men are either nor reported or glossed over. Male victims of assault/abuse are often shamed or ignored due to stigma. lots of boys have experienced terrible things and haven't felt as though they had the right to say anything. ( look up Alex Skeel and maybe watch a couple of videos or read some articles. he's been in quite a few interviews and made a documentary thing about the near fatal abuse he suffered. his story made me cry, shh, and opened my eyes to this issue )

so just let the boys around you know that it's chill to be sad, to be hurt and that it's not their fault if they're hurt. educate people because I'm not sure how much people talk/think about this but yeah, it's something to ponder about.

y'all have probably realised my self esteem is so non existent it's not even insecurity anymore, I just spout straight facts. anyhow. I'm still learning to not viciously hate myself when things go south and just wanted to tell people that it's never your fault if someone hurts you. whether it's a friend or a family member or a significant other, it's not your fault k.

what do you guys think about the subject of male victims? do you think that women/men/assholes in general can abuse men or do you disagree? and toxic masculinity is always fun to peacefully debate as well <3