The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

We're Not Just Friends (12)

Izuku stayed silent for most of their walk together. Kirishima insisted that he'd go home, but he refused. "I have to make up for the time I missed with you this morning." "You don't have to do that." "Yes I do." 

Kirishima tilted his head, kicking a rock in front of him. "I don't get you." He could tell that he felt that, but he didn't give an obvious reply, he didn't say it. "There's nothing to get. I want to be your friend, so that's what I'm doing." Kirishima stopped, grabbing his arm and leaning closer, forcing him to make eye contact. "Friends?" 

"Yeah." He had an obvious pained expression, not knowing what to say in response. "I.. why would you just want to be friends with me?" "I don't understand the question." He let go of his arm, backing away. Clearly he was hurt, after all of the things they'd done, he thought that at this point they'd both be waiting on something more. "N- Nevermind." 

Izuku didn't know it himself, or at least he didn't want to. Not yet. Because as much as he cared about both Katsuki and Kirishima, he's decided to leave the problem for another day. Not meaning to hurt either of them, that's exactly what he did to both. 

Kirishima started walking again, this time faster. He still let him come along, he just didn't want to have to look him in the eye, not for a while. 

♡♡♡

Izuku was sitting on Kirishima's bed, Kirishima was leaning on the doorframe. Izuku opened his mouth to say something. But it looked like he didn't want to talk. 
Kirishima knew he could never talk to him badly, he couldn't bring himself to do that. But he wanted to know if being his friend was all he wanted. His heart was beating faster by each thought of saying something. Izuku had been talking about something else, but he didn't seem to care to join the conversation. 

"You know that I care about you." He stopped Izuku from rambling. "I.. I know. I do too." "So I.." he tapped his foot on the ground. 
"Give me a minute." He turned around to leave the room. 

Izuku stood up too, peeking his head out of his room. 
Thinking about the words he said, and how he looked, it couldn't leave his mind. All he could do was stop himself from thinking about his own feelings. Though what he considered doing just now was begging him to realize it. 

He turned around towards Kirishima's closet, it was full of red clothing. The colour was slowly becoming his favorite, rather than green or yellow. He hesitated, but grabbed one of his sweaters from the hanger. 
He stuffed it into his bag, and nearly screamed when Kirishima walked back into his room. He didn't see, all he saw was Izuku zipping it up. 
"What're you doing?"
"Grabbing.. grabbing my phone." He couldn't lie well in a situation like this, but Kirishima had too much on his mind. 

"What's your next move?" Kirishima walked towards him, tilting his head. "What?" "What will you do after this? I.." he shoved his hands in his pockets. 

"You know that I like you already." Both of their faces started to turn pink, but rather than happy or embarrassed, they both looked stressed. "The secrets out even if I didn't want it to be." He crossed his arms, "So are we just going to pretend like it isn't true? Because I can't." Izuku stared at the floor. 
"Please give me time." "What?" "I don't even know how I feel." his voice started to crack. 

"I don't know how to feel about anything, and I don't want to think about it just yet. So can we just act like normal friends." He looked up and finally looked directly into his eyes. "If you don't figure it out soon, then that's all we will be." 

Like he was supposed to care, Kirishima thought. He noticed himself slowly thinking badly about him, though he believed that would never happen. 

Izuku wrapped his arms around him, Kirishima flinched in confusion. "Don't be angry." 

".. I'm not." The moment was putting too much on the both of them. Izuku had avoided any type of emotion like so up until this point. He didn't even realize he was thinking of him in that way until he said that he needed time. He promised himself he'd deal with it, but promised nobody else. 

But what was he supposed to do about his current boyfriend? He knew that he couldn't just dump him for somebody else, he still cared about him as well. He didn't know who he wanted to be around more. Because Katsuki was nice as much as he didn't show it around others. He thought nicely, he looked nice, and he could be a good person; and Izuku wanted that, especially with the history they had. 

He didn't realize he was squeezing tighter, "Hey. You can uh.. let go of me." "Wait." it wasn't a question. 
He knew that he had to choose something. And he needed to find out how he would do so. 

Yes, Katsuki was a big part of his life, and he was always going to be important to him. But Kirishima couldn't be mean, and he couldn't hurt him. They've known each other for only a few months, but nobody else could've made him smile so much. 

"Please let go of me." Kirishima interrupted his train of thought. "I need time too." He was on the edge of forcing himself to forget about any feelings for him. "I'm sorry." He backed away. "I should go now." "Yeah."

He grabbed his bag, and walked out the door. "See you." He didn't show him out or anything, but he understood. 

♡♡♡

At home safe, he locked himself in the bathroom. He opened his bag, pulling out the red sweater with a stupid blue design on the front. He cringed imagining Kirishima noticing, but he needed to figure it out somehow. 

He put it on over his head, leaning over the door. His face turned red, trying to imagine something, or remember a shared memory. He pulled at the sleeves, realizing it was stupid to have stolen it. He couldn't tell him that he did, or else he'd get mad. It wasn't like he wasn't already angry, though. 

Maybe he'd laugh, or think something else of it. That he didn't steal it to remind himself of Eijirou, he stole it for the scent completely.

[a/n: oh god what a cliche- but it's in the title so]