Chapter thirty-five

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It's been a few months since I lost the baby and a lot has changed since then. For starters Ryder and I haven't spoken since the morning after I stayed at his place when we left the hospital, which I don't think was intentional but we both needed space to grieve. I still get sad about our baby and wish things went differently but my coping mechanism is the gym and unfortunately in every case you have to keep going, even if that's the last thing you want to do. I got the butterfly tattoo I always wanted along with angel wings in memory of the baby.

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I switch out of my day dream when someone drops a weight in the gym

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I switch out of my day dream when someone drops a weight in the gym. I turn up my music along with the speed on my treadmill. Today's my first day back at school since everything and it's the last thing I want to do hence why I came to the gym - I needed an escape. I haven't talked to anyone in so long apart from mom and Emily who forced me out of my room most days and if you haven't already guessed are forcing me to go to school today.

Once I'm finished in the gym I shower and put on some baby blue sports leggings and a black cropped sweater. I decide against wearing make up and let my straight hair cascade down my back

 I decide against wearing make up and let my straight hair cascade down my back

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