Don't Love Me ✓

11

“M-Meds, where are my meds?” I gasped for air, while frantically searching for my medicines which I clearly remembered putting inside the first shelf of the cabinet, but for some reason I couldn’t seem to find them.

With every passing second, I was finding it hard to breathe as my lungs craved for oxygen. I tried to mimic the breathing pattern as suggested by Dr. Kelly, but nothing was helping at this point. My breathing came in short pants and I tried to calm myself down in order to breathe normally, but the dizziness was not helping the case in any way.

“My m-meds...” I held my head between my hands and pressed it to erase the unbearing pain that I was feeling inside. My body was going numb and I was finding it hard to keep my eyes open.

“G-Gracie...” I tried reaching for my phone with shaky hands, but before I could reach it, black dots started appearing before my eyes.

I shook my head in order to get rid of the dizziness, but the impact just got stronger and stronger. I was feeling helpless and it was a very unpleasant feeling. I crawled over my bed to get to the phone that sat peacefully near the end of the bed, but my hands gave out and I fell with a thump, thankfully on the bed.

Tears started pouring out of my eyes and my body shook uncontrollably because of the migraine and lack of oxygen reaching my lungs and before I could try and reach my phone to call Grace for help, my eyes fell shut as I collapsed on my bed murmuring a very low,

“I a-am sorry, Grace.”

~

“Please tell me everything will be fine.” I heard a very familiar voice cry out to the other person in desperate pain, “Please tell me she is doing excellent, please tell me she is going to fucking live!”

“Ms. Quinn, I understand your concern, but please try and understand that there is nothing that I could do in this. This is the life she chose and all of this is a part of it.” Yet another very familiar voice spoke in a very comforting and soothing manner.

“You cannot say that, you are a fucking doctor, it’s your job to heal people, you are fucking best at it and that’s why we are here! Please tell me you will save her Dr. Kelly, p-please.” Their voice broke down at the very end and my heart ached to go there and give them a tight hug, but my body was irresponsive right now.

“We cannot do anything without her consent, Grace. I know you love her and don’t want her to go anywhere and we all want that, but we cannot do anything without her consent. I tried pursuing her many times, but she would always reject the offer. At this point all I can advise you is that pursue her for the operation as we still have time.”

“Thank you, Dr. Kelly, thank you so much!”

“But don’t be too late, Grace. We do not have much time left. Once the cells are spread in the entire body, we won’t be able to do anything.”

“H-How much time do we have more?” The person asked in immense hope and I inwardly smiled at how much this person loves whoever they are talking about.
 
“Twenty five days, maximum.”

I could not hear anything after that as my body gave away and I fell into a world of darkness, completely away from the world.

~

My eyes flew open when I felt my throat going extremely dry, but did not matter how much I wanted to go and grab water, my body was not responding. My entire body felt as if it was locked in a cage and set on fire. I was burning all over and I wanted to cry for help, but no words were coming out.

I felt someone press their hands on my forehead and the coolness that radiated from their hand almost made me relieved, but it was gone as soon as it came. A groan escaped my lips as I tried to sit, but I was feeling paralysed as none of my parts were working. That was when I heard someone shout,

“Call the doctor, call the doctor, damn it! She is burning, a very high fever.” Then I felt someone holding my hand and whispering into my ears with a painful voice, “Don’t worry, Rosa, you are going to be okay. We are going to be okay. I am not going to let you go anywhere, not anytime soon even if it means I have to be fucking selfish.”

Rosa.

Only one person calls me that and that was my best friend in the whole, entire world, Gracie. My eyes instantly flew open wanting to look at her, talk to her, hold her, but all I could do was open my eyes and stare at her crying face. An unwanted tear escaped my eye, rolling through my cheeks and landing on the pillow.

Tear after tears started rolling my eyes looking at her who was silently crying, holding my hand and kissing the back of it. A sob escaped my lips and that instantly turned her attention towards me as she quickly rushed towards me, holding my face with her hands and rubbing the tears away before landing a kiss on my forehead.

“I won’t let you go anywhere, Rosa. I won’t be able to live without you.”

I opened my lips to say how much I loved her and how much I did not want to lose her either. I wanted to explain all the reasons to her as to why I was doing what I was doing, but all I could manage to speak with a hoarse voice was,

“I love you, Gracie.”

“I love you too, Rosa, please don’t leave me.”

All I could do was muster a small smile before my body again went into a world of darkness.

•••••••

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