the Secret Life of Damien Carmichael

18. This is Where it Ends (part II)

Damien glared at his phone on the nightstand, silent, mocking, furious, he picked up the phone and threw it as hard as he could at the opposite wall, shattering it as he did so. Turning over in his bed, Damien closed his eyes, pulling the duvet over his head. 

He didn't know when he had fallen asleep, or even that he had. Only that when he opened his eyes Carrie was standing over him looking worried. It was all he could do not to start crying all over again at the look on her face. The last thing he needed was pity, and yet, all he saw when he looked at her was the concern of a true friend. Without saying a word, Carrie climbed into bed beside him. He was hardly accustomed to allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of anyone, but for the life of him, he didn't have the energy to truly care. Laying his head in Carrie's lap, Damien allowed her to pet his hair while he cried.

He didn't know why, but this hurt worse than anything else had before in his life.

You're being silly, his mind reasoned. You were barely together a month. Damien snorted, somehow that only made it worse. They hadn't even managed to make it a full month before things had been completely destroyed.

Sometime after noon, Carrie got up from the bed. "You need to eat," she said, all but pulling him out with her. Damien shook his head, the thought of actually going down to the Dining Hall made him feel nauseous. All those stairs, all those people, he couldn't stand it. "That wasn't a question," she said. "Now let's go!"

Damien offered her a weak sort of smile, it was comforting to know that no matter the mood he found himself in, Carrie would always be there to help him out, though he rather hated always making her have to. "I feel so ridiculous," he said quietly. His voice was hoarse and more gravely than he'd expected.

"I know," she said, he sniffed, trying hard not to cry again. His eyes were red and puffy and he was certain that everyone would be able to tell the moment they saw him. Yet another thing for Tyler to drag me for, he thought. For her part, Carrie merely patted Damien's shoulders. "But couples fight sometimes, it doesn't have to be the end." 

Damien sighed, he wanted to believe that. Desperately so, only, "You didn't hear him say that his life was better off before he met me." 

"He doesn't mean that," Carrie replied. "He's hurting. You have to understand he's been through so much." 

Damien merely stared at the wall in front of him, "I don't... I didn't want to swoop into his life trying to save him as if he was some charity case... I mean I lo..." Damien couldn't bring himself to say it, but Carrie already knew what he meant. 

"I know love," she said. "You want to help because you care, but you have to think, Oliver isn't necessarily used to that. He didn't grow up like we did. You and I... we grew up in this world, imagine how hard that must be to suddenly be thrust into the world of Westlake and be expected to just change everything about yourself so that you don't stand out." 

Damien sighed, "So what do I do now?" he said quietly. 

"Give him time," she replied. "It's all you can do. In the meantime, you come down to the Dining Hall, and we'll get something to eat. 

Damien supposed she was right, he wasn't especially hungry but, he could at least make an effort. Sucking in a deep breath, Damien lifted his head up and followed her downstairs. 

The Dining Hall was a cacophony of voices, each competing with one another for dominance in his mind. His ears were ringing, and he desperately wanted to get out of there. Just standing in the queue was starting to make him nauseous, and he could feel the onset of a headache just behind his eyes. Carrie squeezed his shoulder from behind him, and Damien exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He only wished he had thought to take his headphones with him.