Blue Boy (gay) ✔️

38. "Let go of your fear, Conner and follow your heart."

Maud had already arrived at the coffee house when he entered looking skittish.

"What happened to your face?" she asked worriedly.

"A rioter in the bar yesterday," he nonchalantly waved away.

"That explains Conner's appearance."

Jason visibly shrank upon hearing Conner's name. Maud let her gaze slide over the clearly miserable young man in front of her. He was the spitting image of her clearly miserable son at home. She promised Patrick not to interfere, but her mother's heart was bleeding.

"What's going on between you and Conner?" she asked softly.

Jason desperately closed his eyes. "Please, Maud. Let it go," he begged.

"How can you expect me not to say anything? You look awful." She put her hand over his. "Just as awful as Conner."

"Could be," he said hoarsely. "But that doesn't change anything." He laboriously bit back his tears.

"It's hard to see him struggling alone," Maud said. "I thought you helped him with his recovery?" Biting on his lip, he nodded. She shook her head confused. "I don't understand you two. Anyone can see something's going on between you. I mean, even Patrick recognizes the possibility of a budding romance."

Jason's mouth fell open. "What?"

Her face stood tender. "Conner is Blue Boy, isn't he?" After a barely visible nod, she continued: "Patrick will accept the choice Conner makes, but he doesn't want to lead him by admitting this."

Jason's eyes got bigger. "That's exactly my dilemma. Conner is the one who has to decide for himself what and who he wants."

Maud picked him up frowning. "Isn't there any way you can help him?"

Despair shot through him. "It seems to be best to leave him alone."

"Oh, no," she shook her head. "He's way too stubborn for that. Without external intervention, he will not come to another conclusion." She frowned. "What do you think he's afraid of?"

"You mean, what is holding him back to show his interest openly?" asked Jason scornfully. "You raised four machos, Maud. The recognition of his father and brothers is very important to him."

"So, about his brothers. What if we were to....?"

"No!", he rudely interrupted her.

"It's not about others recognizing Conner. It's Conner acknowledging himself. The world consists of cruel people with retarded thoughts. If he can't stand tall as the man he wants to be, it's never going to work out. Above all, I want him to be happy."

"So we're not doing anything?" she reluctantly asked.

"We're not doing anything," he reluctantly confirmed.

"I have to say, I'm very upset about this," Maud sighed. "Do you know where you're going?"

"I'm taking the first train leaving Chicago," he smiled wryly. "And yes, I realize I'm running," he said with a raised hand. "But for my own health, this is the choice I have to make."

"I'd love to stay in touch with you. Can I get your number?"

Jason handed her his phone. "Tap your number and call. Then you have mine."

Without Jason noticing, she turned on his GPS.

Upon waking, Conner stared at Jason's sleeping face for a long time. Emotions he had suppressed for a long time engulfed him. Today was the day he was going to tell Jason about his accident. Nervously, he got up. Unwilling to wake him up after their marathon love-making, he chose to quietly leave and provide breakfast. After that they would have plenty of time to take it easy. It was a slap in the face to find the hotel room empty. No Jason, but more telling, no luggage.