YOU 1 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 44.

I open the passenger door and climb into Max's car. No matter how hard I tried to avoid seeing her all week, I somehow ended up in her car with her. She doesn't look at me while I buckle my seat belt. I tug at the dress again, trying to pull it over my thighs. We sit in silence and she pulls out of the parking lot. I am so relieved that she didn't allow Molly to ride with us, I would have rather walked home.

"What's with the new look?" She finally asks once we are on the freeway.

"Uhm.. well Addison wanted to try something new with me I guess" I answer her but keep my eyes fixed on the buildings passing by outside the window. Her normal screaming rock music is playing quietly through the car.

"It's a little over the top don't you think?" She asks and I ball my fists on my lap. So this is her plan today to insult me the whole way back to my room.

"You didn't have to drive me home, and I didn't know you were coming otherwise I would have never came" I lean my head against the window, trying to create as much space between us as possible.

"Don't get so defensive, all I am saying is your little makeover is a little extreme"

"Well good thing I don't care what you think, but I am surprised you don't think I look better than before considering your distaste for my usual appearance" I snap and close my eyes. I am already exhausted from being around her and she is sucking the little bit of energy that remained from me.

I hear her chuckle quietly and she turns the radio off completely.

"I never said there was anything wrong with your appearance, your clothes yes, but compared to these clothes I'd much rather see the hideous long skirts." She tries to explain but her answer doesn't really make sense. She seems to like when Molly dresses this way only much skankier, so why not me?

"Did you hear me?" She asks and I feel her hand touch my thigh. I jerk away from her touch and open my eyes.

"Yes, I did. I just don't have anything to say about it. If you don't like the way I am dressed then don't look at me." One good thing that comes from talking to Max is that for once in my life I can say exactly what comes to my mind without worrying about hurting her feelings, she has none.

"That is precisely the problem here, isn't it? That I can't stop looking at you" the words leave her mouth and I consider opening the car door and hurling myself onto the freeway.

"Oh! Please!" I laugh. I force myself to find the humor behind her torturing me the entire drive. She will say just enough nice yet cryptic things and then take them back and throw more at me.

"What? It's true. I approve of the new clothes, but you don't need all this makeup. Regular girls wear tons of makeup to look as good as you look without it" she says. What? She must have forgotten that we aren't speaking, that she tried to ruin my life less than a week ago, and that we despise each other. That last part I am still struggling with.

"You don't expect me to thank you do you?" I half laugh. She is so confusing, she is brooding and angry one minute and telling me I don't need makeup the next.

"Why didn't you tell them the truth about Liam and I?" She asks, changing the subject.

"Because you obviously didn't want them to know"

"Still, why would you keep my secrets?"

"Because they are not mine to tell"

She looks over to me with hooded eyes and a slight smile on her lips. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, considering that I did with Chase l"

"Yea, well I am not you."

"No, no you're not" her voice is much quieter. She remains silent for the rest of the drive and I do the same. I have nothing to say to her, well I do but it's best if I just stay quiet. We finally we pull onto campus and she parks in the further possible spot from my room. Of course.

I reach for the door handle and Max's arm touches my thigh again.

"You're not going to thank me?" She smiles and I shake my head.

"Thanks for the ride" I say sarcastically. "You might want to hurry and get back to Molly" I add as I climb out. I hope she didn't hear me, I am not sure why I even said that.

"Yea.. I better, she sure is fun when she is drunk" she smirks. I try to hide the fact that I feel like she just punched me in the stomach. I lean down to look at her through the passenger window and Max rolls it down.

"Yea, I am sure she is. Chase is coming down anyway" I lie and watch her eyes narrow.

"He is?" Max picks at her fingernails, a nervous habit I assume.

"Yep, see you around" I smile. I hear her get out of her car and shut the door.

"Wait!" She says and I turn around. "I.. never mind, I thought you uhm dropped something but you didn't" she says and her cheeks flush. I know she is lying and I want to know what she was going to say, but I have been able to avoid her all week, I am trying to get over whatever has been going on with us. I need to walk away now, so I do just that.

"Bye Maxxy" The words mean more than I let on. I don't look back to see if she is coming after me because I know she isn't.

...

I take the heels off before I even get to my room and walk barefoot the rest of the way. The second I get into the room I put my fuzzy pajamas back on and call Chase m. He answers on the second ring.

"Hey" I squeak. My voice sounds too high pitched, it is only Chase, why am I so nervous?

"Hey, how was your day today?" He asks softly. He doesn't sound like the same distant Chase that I have been talking to all week. I sigh in relief.

"It was okay actually, I am just hanging out tonight in my room, what are you doing?" I purposely leave out my dinner with Addison and everyone including Max. That will not help my "please forgive me" campaign.

"I just got out of practice, I am just going to study tonight because I am helping the new neighbors cut a tree down tomorrow" he is always helping everyone. He is too good for me.

"I'm just studying tonight too"

"I wish we could study together" he says and I smile whilst picking at the tiny lint balls on my fuzzy socks.

""You do?"

"Yea, of course. I still love you and I miss you. But I have to know that nothing like this will ever happen again. I am willing to try to put this past us but you have to promise me you will stay away from her" he says. He doesn't have to say her name.

"Of course, I will I swear" I promise. Part of me knows that I am only desperate to have Chase forgive me because I don't want to be completely alone and fawning over Max but I ignore it.

After exchanging "I love you's" Chase agrees to accompany me to the bonfire next weekend and we get off the phone. I look online for the closest car dealerships to campus, I will be taking the bus so I need to stay within a few mile radius, lucky for me there are a good amount of used car lots ready to rip off college students. I dig through Addison's makeup bag and finally find the wipes to remove all my makeup. It takes forever, this action alone makes me never want to wear it again, regardless of how good it looked.