The Penpal Project

Chapter 29

You know how they say love is a crazy thing?

Well, they're totally right because I think there's something wrong with me when I think to myself, Even though Matt broke my heart and left me, I'm still in love with him. How does that work? How am I still falling for him? How can I not let go of him? How do I leave him? How? This whole love concept is really confusing me.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I was over thinking as usual. I just needed to let go right now; be free from this craziness and all of these emotions. The light summer breezed picked up my long brown hair and played with it; tossing it in my face and sad blue eyes. I dipped my feet in the warm water and dug my toes in the wet squishy sand. Wrapping my sweater tightly around me, I wiped my cheeks and looked up at the sky. Millions of little lanterns flickered and danced in the black and bruised night; putting on a night show. It was as if they were the stars were smiling down at me; flashing and shining bright. By just the thought of it, my heart warmed up a little bit and I smiled slightly back. I got lost in the stars and everything became still and silent. The ocean waves whispered, the breeze blew silently, the trees swayed without a sound. Instantly, I was standing in a silent movie. But the only sound that I could hear was my heart beating in my chest. The same heart I gave Matt and he broke it in half without a thought. Another tear started to roll down my cheek at the thought of him. Matt.

"I knew I'd find you here," a familiar voice said gently behind me. Quickly, I turned around and saw Matt walking up to me with a smile and with that, my world fell apart again. I noticed that he took off his shoes and put them in my truck, unbuttoned his plaid shirt a little, and his hair was messier. I gotta admit that he looked really good tonight, but I turned away from him and tried to ignore him.

"Why did you leave so early? I've called at least a million times. Is your phone off?" Matt asked. I didn't say a word. My eyes watered and all the words I wanted to say to him were all caught up in my throat. With a smile, Matt grabbed my waist and tried to pull me closer to him, but I walked away.

"Leave me alone," I whispered and started to walk down the shore.

"What's wrong? Are you okay, love?" he asked behind me. I stopped. What's wrong? He's playing dumb. He totally knows what's wrong. My stomach twisted into a knot and I started to cry. It felt like someone had slapped me in the face really hard. I turned around with clenched fists.

"What's wrong? You know exactly what's wrong! Stop playing dumb. So just give me some space and leave me alone!" I shouted over my tears. Matt's jaw dropped and his eyes turned to stone.

"What are you yakking about? I have absolutely no idea what I did wrong?" Matt shouted and threw his arms up in the air.

"So you don't remember kissing Kelly under the pier? You don't remember that?"

"Kissing Kelly? What are...."suddenly, Matt stopped talking and looked off somewhere. His shoulders dropped and he put his hands in his pockets. "She forced me to kiss her and after she did, I went to go find you. Trust me, I didn't enjoy it one bit. I don't love her, I love you."

"That's kind of hard to believe."

"It's true, I swear. I'm sorry that I made you upset. I don't want to," Matt said and looked up at me with pleading eyes. From a distance, he looked like he was starting to cry. My shoulders relaxed and I unclenched my fists. For some reason, I didn't believe him. But that was just half of me. The other half of my heart wanted to hug him, forgive him, kiss him, and just love him. I missed Matt.

"I-I-I....I don't know what to say," I muttered. Matt started to slowly walk towards me.

"You don't have to say anything. Let's just start over again. Let's just pretend none of this happened," Matt said and took my hand. I wiped my eyes and held his warm hand tightly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his strong arms around me. His shirt smelt like seaweed and sand; the ocean. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him.

"I should be the one to say sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset," Matt said and kissed the top of my head delicately. I looked up at him and he wiped the rest of my tears off of my face gently. He smiled at me and said with gorgeous eyes, "You're so beautiful. I love you." My cheeks turned red, but I didn't look down and tried to hide my face. This time, I smiled and kissed him. And we stood like this for a moment, in each other's arms while sharing a delicate kiss. Before we broke apart and walked back to the truck to drive home, I whispered in his ear, "I love you too."