My imaginary boyfriend

Prologue

"Help me!!!"

I wish I could shout out loud but I don't know if anybody could hear my voice, besides That Thing which is now hitting at the door forcefully and shouting out my name, as if it wants to compete with the torrential thunderstorm.

That Thing that scares the hell out of me.

But I can't deny the fact that how I love That Thing is as much as how I'm scared of it. The only thing that keeps me from shouting is my hesitation -- the hesitation in being unsure if I'm seeking help or the answer.

Now I'm trapped inside my own house and That Thing is waiting for me outside. It's now hitting at the door vigorously and continuously and calling out my name so loud, seemingly ignoring the torrents of rain.

The quieter I am, the louder it calls.

I'm so scared.

There's only a big wooden door of this house that separates me from That Thing that I have no idea what it truly is. The door made of wood that seems sturdy and safe might not function for this case.

What the hell is That Thing?

I was thinking that That Thing is just imagination. My imagination. But how does something existing in my imagination can actually knock at the door and call me by my name? How could it possess flesh, skin and even senses?

I examine my wrist. The weal due to the fact that That Thing just grabbed my wrist is still visible. If That Thing is only my imagination, how could it grab and pull my wrist?

This is way too far beyond my imagination and it's me who let all this stretch beyond limits.

"Phai! Phai! Come talk to me first! Come out! You said you wouldn't leave me! Come out!"

That Thing is hitting at the door relentlessly. It's calling my name and trying everything just to get me to open the door. I completely shut my eyes, block my ears, focus on my inhales and exhales and try to do everything just to expel this imagination from my mind. If That Thing is really my imagination, it should disappear, right?

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Phai! Phai! Come talk to me!"

The shouting and hitting just confirmed the question I was wondering. It didn't work. That Thing does not disappear. It continues to shout out my name without a care in the world. Hopelessly, I'm completely trapped in my own house and there's no other house in the area. This village is almost deserted. No hope for help from neighbors. The tears begin pouring out of my fear. My hands are shaking. Actually my whole body is trembling. Even without trying to utter, I know that my voice would also be trembling. It's the reactions of utmost fear that overwhelms throughout my body.

Now I'm scared as hell.

"Phai! Phai! Please come out. I can explain"

Even though I've fought back with silence, That Thing is still persisting. I bite my lip and hold my breath since I'm afraid that if I breathe -- even gently -- it will hear and find out that I'm just behind the door.

"Help me."

I shout again in my mind.

My breath is held while the teardrops are pouring on my cheeks. My hands stop shaking but not because the fear has faded out -- not because I feel calm nor I can control myself. It's the opposite. When both fear and frustration are at the extreme, the body will stop every reaction as if it's forced to surrender to unconsciousness directed from the midbrain. No chance for it to fight back or react.

I won't survive after all. There's no way I can escape from That Thing.

I rest the back of my head on the door. Breathe in and let out the weeping. I won't survive from That Thing after all? So I really have to face it, right?

On the other hand, That Thing is hitting at the door insanely.

That Thing that totally looks just like a human but I know that it's not. It's something else.

In the beginning, it started from just my imagination. The imagination that stretches so far that it's now dangerous.

I'm now thinking of that boy, the boy who passed away and the thing he said over and over again -- the thing that wouldn't make sense to others -- that still recurs in every moment of my mind.

"If you leave it without saying goodbye,

it will come back to deprive the life out of you."