petty | nct johnny

87 letting it out

jordan never really had a place to call home. she moved way too many times for work purposes that she never really stayed long enough to grow affection or memories. now that she had nowhere to go, she felt homeless and totally helpless. jordan was a mess. it felt like highschool all over again, running away from problems and being the biggest problem.

why was it so hard for her to accept that her brother is finally here? she have been waiting for so long...she found it pathetic to cry infront of the boys. but then again, she probably dont need andrew anymore...she accomplished way too many things without andrew.

jordan saw a bench and sat down with her backpack on her lap, she then saw a pair of siblings, an older brother and a little sister sharing an ice cream cone. she was overwhelmed about everything and this wasnt making it any better.

she was like a puppy who was abandoned by its owner and everyday she awaits the arrival of its owner until the day she grows up and care lesser but enough to find the owner herself.

it was a whole new feeling she was going through. its kinda funny how her instagram followers would've never thought she goes through so much because her feed is full of happiness, pure joy and anything you could ask for in ones life.

one point she is grateful but another was hatred. hatred towards the fact that her brother could leave her and put her in such a situation. her brother had the guts to change his name, remove himself from the system, run away and start a new life. it was like he was oblivious about the people he love, that one person who depended alot on him and look up to him so much.

jordan started tearing up and so she called collin. she waited for the answer but she knew as soon as she hears collins voice she will breakdown. its like when someone ask you if you're okay when you're at the verge of crying. she ended the call before collin could answer.

'it was him. we found him :)' was all she typed and sent to collin.

she realised she was being selfish to anastasia, the person who was there for her, now she left her alone there with the boys probably bombarding her with questions. jordan could just leave it and simply end it with 'it is what it is'. the wound is so deep for her to accept the truth that her brother might open to explain himself.

her ego was high cause she knew her brother did it for a good reason, she knew her brother and he never does things recklessly. that was what she hated the most, finding out the reason behind it all was probably her. yet again, she is the problem.

then she received a phonecall. she didnt pick it up.
it rang again and again. she was fed up and decided to pick it up.

"no i dont need you explaining and dont try to find me"

"kinda did already?"

she was confuse cause it didnt sound like taeyong at all.

"down for lunch im right behind you"

jordan turned back and she saw jinyoung. she quickly wiped her tears and smiled. jinyoung was waiting for her reply so he stands there with a boxy smile and tapping his left foot with a cigarette on his lips."omg i miss you!",she stood up and hugged jinyoung.

"was about to call you for lunch with the boys as well cause the three of us just came back from
hong kong yesterday but then i saw you here while buying cigarettes, called your name couple of times but you didnt seem to hear me",jinyoung knew something was wrong.

"ya...was kinda daydreaming",she covered up. she took her bag and made their way to their usual food place.

she knew jinyoung wanted to ask whats wrong. jinyoung was fidgety. he was facing her from time to time while walking to his car. jinyoung knew that she didnt like people asking about what happened,when she's going through it at the moment. "what is it jinyoung? before you ask, yes im okay is just that im on a school break and i have nowhere to go and i kinda dont want to stay at the dorm you know",jordan lied.

she lied again and again so she wont be a burden. people knowing her problems made her feel some type of way, a feeling she hated because people may not know how to handle it and just act as if they cared but they dont give two shits sometimes because they have never been through it. "are you sure...is it about andrew",jinyoung, wen and henry knew about her brother, in fact beside anastasia they knew about jordans work because they were once part of it before leaving for global missions instead.

jordan stared blankly out the window acting as if she didnt hear a word that came out of jinyoung's mouth. "stay over at our apartment theres always space for you jordan", and finally he saw a genuine smile from her.

jordan was too restless to even reply, she smiled at jinyoung. him being her bestfriend and who was once her mentor...knew the thousands of meaning behind her smile.

he knew she was thankful, she was tired, she was trying very hard but still is clueless and he just wants her to rest peacefully before everything drops on her.

jinyoung felt a little bit of guilt seeing jordan like this, frankly speaking she wasnt the kind who would be so down and even if she was she would never show it. maybe just maybe, wen, henry and him could make the situation better.