FØUR

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"Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It's not 'I love you' for this or that reason, not 'I love you if you love me.' It's love for no reason, love without an object." -- Ram Dass


++ C H A P T E R | F Ø U R ++


Practice was just as terrible as lunch. Brent didn't approach him, not with Natasha sitting on the sidelines, but Elliott could feel the glares following his every move. He'd just about had enough of it, but there was nothing he could do. Brent was twice his size and very frightening. He could pummel Elliott in a second.

Coach was blowing the whistle and yelling at a freshman, but Elliott couldn't seem to focus on that. He was focused on Natasha, watching her talk with one of her friends. He was engrossed with her red hair and her blue eyes. She was so painfully beautiful. She wore cute little outfits and was always peppy and cheerful. There was just something about her that made Elliott wish he could be her. Wish he could be so carefree and happy all of the time, with a hoard of friends and surrounded by praise.

"Keep your beady eyes off of my girlfriend." Brent hissed in his ear, causing Elliott to jump in surprise. He wasn't surprised he'd gotten caught staring at the redhead, but he was certainly afraid of what Brent would do to him.

"Yeah. Okay. Sorry." Elliott scuttled away, embarrassed that he'd been caught staring. He wasn't even looking at Natasha in a romantic way - more like in a longing way. But, he didn't blame Brent for getting possessive. Natasha was his girlfriend, after all, and he knew Brent was probably very much in love with her. Elliott would be defensive and possessive too if he had a girlfriend.

The little interaction had Elliott staring off into the distance for a moment, and he squinted his eyes when he came across a woman standing in the baseball field, directly across from where practice was being held.

Elliott's throat closed. His heart momentarily stopped beating. His eyes refused to blink.

There, in the baseball field was mother. She was wearing the same outfit she always wore: a dress with a perfectly white apron. Not a drop of blood in sight.

She was watching him. Elliott couldn't tell if she was smiling or frowning, but Elliott didn't want to know. He felt the fear pulsing through him as he stared at mother. She was here. She had found him effortlessly. And now, she was going to take him back.

Coach blew the whistle. "Elliott, pay attention!"

Elliott looked at coach, noticing that the other team members were in formation, waiting for him. They snickered at Elliott, who frantically got into position and looked back towards the baseball field.

Mother was gone. Almost like she'd never been there in the first place.

Elliott's heart was thumping in his chest. He could feel a panic attack not too far away, and he felt like he was going insane. Was mother actually there, or had he hallucinated her?

The rest of practice ran smoothly. Brent hadn't said anything else to him, and no one bothered him. Plus, he'd pleased coach, and that was always a bonus. The sooner tryouts ended, the sooner things would die down. People would leave him alone. People would respect him.

Adrian was waiting for him at the school entrance, Mat beside him. Both looked overly tired and worn out, which wasn't surprising to Elliott. He too felt the same. But, he'd been trying so hard to lift the burden off of their shoulders that he hadn't realized his own sullen mood had dragged the others down. Plus, he knew Adrian was angry with him for the whole lunch affair, and they had yet to talk about it. And probably wouldn't say a thing until they were home and Mat was out of hearing range.

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