Gold Heart, Warm Soul

33| Different

The ocean breeze blows through my hair, while the tide recedes back to the ocean. I stood in the middle of the beach while the sand tickles my bare feet. Everything was different after the surgery. I felt like a newborn baby. I had to relearn how to differentiate noises and voices. Sights were different. Bright light were tiring for me and I had to recognise the primary colours again. Sounds were harder for me. Sometimes, my brain would go haywire and I wouldn't understand people talking midway in the conversation.

The one thing I was still good at were computers. I still maintained my skills at coding, but I couldn't use the computer for long as it was straining my eyes and causing stress to my brain. It was tiring, but rehabilitation was getting better. One step at a time. The feel of the sand on my bare feet felt like a new sensation. The sound of the wind was pleasant to the ears. I felt content and happy. I finally feel like the burden of death had left my shoulders.

"Ambar, look over here!" At the sound of the voice, I turned around and a smile easily graced my face. Click. My photo was taken. Ethan walked towards me with a goofy smile on his face.

"You should have given me a heads up!"

"But, you look beautiful," he said while showing me the picture on the camera. It was true. I looked nice. Happy. Peaceful.

"Let's take a photo together," I mentioned. We never really had a photo together since I was hospitalised. Ethan positioned the camera on a stand and press the timer. He ran over to me and in an instant carried me bridal style. I squeaked at the sudden movement. "Ethan Zhang! Put me down!" I struggled saying as my laughter broke out. A burst of photo was taken capturing the lovely moment we had, laughing and playing on the beach. We were perfect together, with my imperfections.

I finally learned how to love myself and treasure myself. It felt like I opened a new door. As we were tired, we rested under the shade of a large beach umbrella with towels covering the sand. Ethan bought me a cold drink to cool down. We had a lot of fun. Since it was still a school year, there wasn't a lot of people at the beach. I laid my head on Ethan's shoulders, feeling relaxed with the wind blowing over a gentle breeze. I could feel a yawn coming my way as I feel drowsy. "Are you sleepy? We should go back to the beach house soon," Ethan murmured softly while his hands gently ruffled my short hair. "Mhm..." I could hear a chuckle rumbled from Ethan's chest.

"Hey, love," he softly said. I tilted my heads towards him while my eyes were still closed from the sleepiness. I felt a peck on my cheek. My eyes open slowly, focusing on Ethan's dimple and towards his lips. He leaned down and kissed my lips so gently like a wind. In a soft murmur, he said, "I love you." I could feel a smile on my face and love and adoration flowing through my heart. With earnest feelings, I replied back, "I love you too, Ethan."

In that moment, I felt like the happiest girl alive. To love myself and feel unconditional love from my soulmate, who didn't leave me even though I was a burden and have my imperfections. I feel whole and my heart felt complete. All the broken shards were sealed and look to towards the man of my life, and in my head, I said a silent thank you. Thank you for being there for me. For loving me. For not giving up on me. For finding me. I will always remember this day for the rest of my life.