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04 :: ugly crushes & pretty deals

ahh before i forget~ i made a playlist!
i'll drop the link right here (:

also ahhdhs PSA i love this book

♡♡︎♡︎

To say Taehyung was freaking out was a whole understatement: he was shitting his pants.

Literally— he was on the verge of convulsing since his stupid heart wouldn't shut up. At this rate, it was about to fall out of his chest and onto the floor, and he wasn't so sure what would be worse: Jimin finding out that he likes him, or the fact his organ was on the ground.

He slid his trembling palms together, wincing at the sweat that slicked his skin. Jimin didn't seem to notice, which was great. This was great— the silence, the sync of their footsteps. It was safe, and Taehyung had all the time to figure out what to say.

Should he say hey? Maybe ask about his love for volleyball? No, that wouldn't work; everybody knew Jimin loved volleyball. Was he close enough with him to ask about his day? Well, not necessarily, but it wouldn't hurt.

"I'm sorry I served the ball at your face." Frick, that wasn't the plan.

Taehyung wanted to strangle himself the second those words left his lips. Even better— throw his body out a window and disappear. He winced internally, cringing at his choice of words and hoped Jimin wouldn't think he was a bigger loser than he already was.

Honestly, scratch that. There was a 100% chance he looked like the biggest loser no matter what while he stood next to the Park Jimin.

Unlike Jimin, who glowed effortlessly, and whose blonde hair reminded him of wisps of spun gold, and wore outfits that accentuated his curves. Taehyung, on the other hand, lacked the clear skin, the perfect twenty-twenty vision, the smirk that radiated pure confidence, and expensive clothes that didn't hang off his body like a pillowcase.

Next to him, he was nothing. He didn't deserve to be standing next to someone as pretty and perfect as Jimin, yet every part of him wanted to be there with his crush. Get the chance he would probably never have again.

God, he hated this. Hated the anxiety picking away at him, the insecurities piling up in the back of his mind that he struggled to hold back. If only he was beautiful, then maybe he would get a stronger shot at getting Park Jimin to really notice him.

But even that was wishful thinking.

"It's all good," Jimin chuckled, snapping him out of his trance, voice awfully sweet to Taehyung's ears. "It happens when you're a beginner."

"I-I swear, I w-wouldn't have targeted your face," Taehyung stuttered, stumbling over his words. God, he was making a huge fool of himself.

"Don't worry about it Tae. It's probably nothing serious. Ggukie likes to overreact!" He said, looking up at him with the most beautiful of smiles that had his heart doing flips in his chest.

However, Taehyung couldn't ignore the way his stomach plummeted hearing the way Jimin said Jeongguk's name. Sure, they were friends, but there was no denying Jeongguk had a greater chance. It was foolish, really, thinking like this. They were friends, best friends, but who knew— anything was possible.