Forever Ruined

Chapter Forty-six

Having nothing else to wear Clara donned Sturgis' clothes once more feeling too exposed to sit in the room naked until Benjamin's return. A knock on the door brought her a welcome tray of tea and biscuits. Her stomach growled at the sight. She hadn't eaten anything since her lunch with Aaron the day before.

Almost as if her thoughts conjured him, Lord Fitton now stood at her door with an arm full of books. "May I?"

"Please," Clara waved for him to enter and he followed the woman in with the tray. She had put it down on the table and left.

"Would you like some tea?" Clara offered, Although dressed like a man Aaron already saw her slipping into her role as wife and hostess. It made him cringe inwardly. Clara was so much more than this demure creature that stood before him.

"Is something wrong?" Clara wondered at the scowl that appeared on Lord Fitton's face.

"Sorry, no, not at all," he replied taking hold of the pro-offered cup. "I've come to give you the botanical books that you must take back to the Queen and the journal I have written with all of my notes although they are not complete."

"I can complete them on my return trip if you like," Clara offered, wondering why things felt so stiff and formal between them all of sudden.

"Thank you. If you feel so compelled but it is not a necessity," Lord Fitton told her.

An awkward silence lapsed. Trying to make conversation Lord Fitton stuck to a topic he knew well. "This tea, it isn't like those I've tasted before here in India."

Clara took a sip of her own and smiled. "That is because it comes from home. Benjamin must have had the tea specially made for me."

Lord Fitton tasted it again there was something familiar about it, yet he couldn't place. "The gesture is rather sweet. Giving you a taste of home. What kind of tea is it? I don't quite recognize it."

Clara smiled with a slight shrug. "I really don't know. I never thought to ask," she replied while handing him a plate of biscuits. He took one and puzzled, it was on the tip of his tongue.

"I know I have tasted it's like before. No matter, how are doing? Are you feeling well?"

"Yes, much better thank you. I'm sorry I scared you," Clara said knowing her fainting spell must have been a great shock to him.

"Clara," Lord Fitton knew he would not get this opportunity again, and he must ask. "Are you happy? Are you doing what you want? If you are I wish you every happiness, but if you are not, it is not too late to disappear. Say the word and it will be done."

Clara could not believe what Lord Fitton was purposing. "No! Of course, I am happy. Benjamin is here. He came all this way for me. I never doubted his love, Aaron. Not once, I do wish we had more time. I feel so close to an answer to my prayers but alas..."

Lord Fitton reached across and took her hand. "You have all the time in the world, Clara. The King has been ill for an age. There is no cure for him. Even if I found something that could break through I fear he is too far gone. The Prince Regent has already stepped into his place and upon his father's death will assume the throne."

"I know," Clara said wondering why he was telling her all of this.

"Don't you see. There is no stopping that future and that future is a one where you and Benjamin can have a life together. His duty to the crown will die with the King."

Clara wished that were true but her husband was the Queen's Man and would serve her until she was through with him. She put on a brave face. "It does not matter. I realize that now. All that matters is that Benjamin and I have one another."