touched ✓

xlvii

i wanted to cry again.

but crying wouldn't make you come back to me.

         crying wouldn't

         h e l p.

"i'm fine-"

you looked up at me, and i saw the anguish written on your face.

the sadness that overflowed your vibrant eyes.

"i'm not..." you simply said before shaking your head, "i'm not fucking okay but you don't know that. you don't know how it feels to have the girl i love going to possibly sleep with her 'boyfriend' every fucking night!" you started pacing and cursing profusely, "sometimes i forget to sleep worrying about you. sometimes i forget to breathe, it hurts so bad... sometimes i wonder why i even try; why i don't just give up on us because i know that i can't continue to be with you and stay sane."

            

                                      i stopped breathing.

                    "what do you mean? are we... done?"

i asked,

even though

we

    never

          even

               started.

"we wouldn't have to be if you left him."