Chapter Thirteen: Tastes Like Diabetes

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The days were long. The nights were short. Sleep was my only get away, but it seemed like sleep's only job was to get away from me. Karissa snuck into the pack house everyday. I still feel like the guards are letting her in for my sake.

School drags on everyday. Andrew thinks I'm depressed. I don't. He thinks I need to get out more. I disagree. Xavier wants me to meet new people. I object to the idea. Brennan says I should smile more. So, I smile.

It's been extremely cold the past few days. Snow even blanketed the ground two days ago. Nothing strange for Pennsylvania. Such a bipolar state. Probably why I'm here. We can be bipolar together.

I cry a lot lately. I blame myself for a lot of things. I've resulted to hurting myself just to put up with the pain. I don't cut, but I've been pinching myself a lot. Maybe it'll bring me back to reality, but all it does is anger me each time I do it. I've turned into a pathetic person.

The halls that I once walked down carelessly are now tunnels of unknown emotions. I don't stop at all. I keep walking. I walk right past the stares, the frowns, the smiles.

And, I keep putting up with the one monster that I can never seem to conquer these days. Myself.

"Alex, if you don't stop staring at that fire, your eyes are gonna fall out," Andrew said as he sat beside me on the floor. I blinked and sucked in a large breath. Andrew sat his hand on my knee and squeezed it. I chewed on the bottom of my lip as the flames burned in front of me. Would it hurt to jump in a fire?

I mentally shooed the thoughts away as two hands landed on my shoulders. They moved in a slow pace as I let out a long breath.

"Why don't we all go do something today?" Brennan's shy voice asked over the crackling fire. I shook my head slightly making Xavier scoff from behind me.

"You are not staying here all day again. You're going to rot on this floor if you don't at least stand up," Xavier ranted. I rolled my eyes, and Andrew laughed.

"When do we get to hear that cute, little, man voice again?" Andrew teased. My voice was kind of deep but definitely not manly.

"Hey! My voice is feminine," I complained.

"Holy shit, guys! It talks!" Xavier shouted from the couch. Brennan let out a large laugh from right behind my head which made me jump. I turned around quickly as Brennan was laying on his back laughing.

"Sh-she moves too!" He exclaimed while he laughed even louder. A smile made its way across my face as I tried to look angry. I couldn't help but laugh along with them.

"Okay, since grumpy-ass here is actually living again, how about we go do something?" I groaned in protest at Xavier's offer. "Oh, lighten up lazy. We can stay here." I groaned once more and rolled on the floor until my back hit the couch. I looked up and frowned when I seen Xavier.

"Ew. I thought you would've went back to your homeland by now," I sulked. He cocked an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes on me.

"My homeland?" He asked.

"Yeah. Hell." He scoffed and got off the bed. He stood in front of me and grabbed my hands. Before I could process it, I was being dragged out of the room and toward the kitchen.

"I would, but my mom won't let me," he replied while I yelled at him in protest. He dragged me into the kitchen. He yanked my arms abruptly as my body flew into the air, and I was suddenly standing on my feet.

I glared at him as the sound of Andrew and Brennan's feet running into the room was heard. Xavier turned toward a cupboard and grabbed cake mix and handed it to me.

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