Vain

52. Warmth

The air that surrounded her felt warm and comforting, as Aileene woke up. The light entering the room was mostly blocked by the curtain, but she could still see it when she turned her head. It settled itself against the desk beside the bed and gently reflected off of Lucian's pastel lavender hair. Her eyes widen in surprise as she quickly sat up, her flustered rustling woke him and he lifts his head from the desk. Blinking his drowsiness away their eyes met, Aileene paused leaning against the bed frame.

Her alarmed expression faded and she turned her gaze to her fidgeting hands. At that moment she felt very much like a child once again, she was the embodiment of guilt but she wasn't sure what she was even guilty of.

Aileene took in a much-needed breath and turn again to meet the violet eyes that gazed at her so warmly. She steels herself, it was unbecoming for her to be too nervous to even speak. And so a  natural calm countenance was regained on her face. It was an expression which she wore often, a kind of expression that was as if she knew and understood everything in the world and there was nothing that could undermine her. Naturally, this was not true, but she could at least try to keep this facade going.

Lucian had a small smile on his face, as he propped his chin onto his palm. He was glad and truly happy at that moment. Everything seemed to be a little bit brighter with her cute flustered expression and her efforts to calm herself. Aileene was alive and he was no longer restless. The night before had been one where he could not help but crack, everything eluded to him and he was only struck with doubt and stress. He could never be sure when she would be safe nor when she would wake up. He wasn't a doctor and he never had to treat anyone before. So he was clueless and there was no help that he could have gotten. The blizzard that raged on trapped them within the male dormitory, which was quite a ways away from the White Castle, where the med room was.  He could only make sure that her temperature didn't lower and try to get her help the next morning.

But now, she was finally okay, so he could relax.

"How long had I been asleep?" Aileene asked glancing at Lucian with a mellow expression. After she was able to regain much of her confidence, she felt at ease and somewhat peaceful, it was a strange feeling for her to have when she had barely escaped death the night before. But she couldn't remember much that had happened either way since her mind wasn't actively fighting against the cold that infected her. Only a few moments of consciousness were able to come back to her; when Lucian had called her name and when he had asked her to live. Her weary body then felt that it should do everything it could to survive and to that end, she did.

"It's only been a night," Lucian answered gently, reaching out to touch her forehead. His palm rested on her skin and warmed whatever reluctance she had left. As he moved to sit on the bed beside her, Aileene caught herself before she could move away or hide. Her mind was in chaos, both hesitation and longing filled her mind. Before everything blanked with the proximity of Lucian, his hand froze and their eyes met once again. His eyes were full of fondness and happiness, and she felt gratify at knowing this small fact.

It was as if something had finally worked out for her and she enjoyed the sweet silence that settled around them. Some small part of her mind then wished that this was her forever. She could merely say a single word and it would all be hers.

"Your temperature is normal." Lucian was the first to pull away and Aileene too blinked away her intrusive thoughts. She didn't know what to say, so when he finally moved away from her and back to his seat. Her eyes only trailed along his figure dispassionately, again her self-serving side wanted to pull him back, wanted again to feel the warmth she had lost return to her. But who was he to her? Who was she to her own ambitions?

Nothing. She was nothing but a catalyst, what happiness could she find? What happiness did she deserve?

"Aileene, Aileene—" Lucian could see her expression turn forlorn and he wanted to reach out. He wanted to adore her and let her know that she still had something left to cling on to, that he, himself had something left to cling on to. But it was still too early, they were not quite familiar with each other yet. Even if it felt like he had known her for longer than life itself.

"I'm sorry, I was lost in thoughts." Aileene apologized, her voice barely able to contain a quiver, she cast her eyes downwards, but a sudden thought startled her. "It's midmorning?"

"Approaching noon, is there something wrong?" Lucian asked, confused with her sudden focus on the window.

"Today, is it not the start of the academy?"

"It is."

"And we have missed class—I have caused you to miss class." Aileene quickly realized and glanced at Lucian to gauge his expression. She didn't want to be a burden especially to him. Someone who had so easily saved her...

"It's of no importance. Your health has not improved yet, you still need the rest. It wouldn't be difficult to miss the first few days." Lucian shook his head, another soft smile gracing his lips as he admired Aileene. Would he ever tire of her? When was it that his heart had ever been this light? It was too long a time away. So he'd cherished this moment, stay with her for as long as she needed.

A small trace of a smile found its way onto her face and Aileene accepted Lucian's light ruffling of her hair. She nodded in understanding, keeping a neutral expression. But internally she was rather giddy, how long could she deny herself. When it was clear as day how much he cared for her. It wouldn't be long until her defeat at the hands of her emotions, it was inevitable.

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